


24 Hours

by edwardbraelinvonhaus



Category: VH - A Harry Potter Roleplay Site
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 12:59:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 24,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4480049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edwardbraelinvonhaus/pseuds/edwardbraelinvonhaus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you had 24 hours to live, what would you do?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

How do you tell someone you have 24 Hours to live?

 

That very question was racing through Aurora's mind as she sat in her office at St. Mungo's.

 

It was summer, and the weather was blistering hot outside, but thanks to magic, Aurora had put a cooling charm on her clothing to keep her own body temperature from skyrocketing. It didn't seem to be helping her now, as she was sweating bullets, trying to figure out where she was going to get the courage to go home and tell her husband that their future together was being cut short. Too short. And yet, Aurora always knew it would be. Happy endings were never perfect. A happy ending was never in store for her.

 

All her life, she had believed that she was living on borrowed time. The tragedies that happened while she was at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry should have spelled the end of her short life, and yet she lived, survived, moved on to have a wonderful family of her own, and passed on her legacy for healing the world, one person at a time. Now, Death was knocking on her door not for the first time, surprising her like a long lost friend coming for a visit, the only difference being, that when tea and biscuits were finished, instead of saying _'see you later!'_ with enthusiasm, she'd have to leave, too, cuffed to the eternal being that would rip her out of the arms of her husband and loving family.

 

There was an ache in her chest and Aura didn't know if it was from the toxins wrecking havoc in her body or the fact that her emotions were causing her airways to constrict. The head of the Spell Damage ward had just left Aurora alone after delivering the decisive blow. She refused to cry in front of the woman whom she had trained, and replaced her when she decided to move her career to the walls of Hogwarts. She could feel her emotions crawling up her spine, and down from her brain, meeting in the middle of her throat where a sob managed to escape.

 

Aura brought her hand to her mouth, swearing that she wasn't going to break. She wasn't going to give in to her tears, or her fears. All and all, she thought she had a great run, and survived through more than most people ever could. She breathed heavily, a futile attempt to keep ahold of the reigns. She looked around her office, not really seeing the four walls, but seeing _things_. Life. Her life. The idea that it was over was overwhelming, but that wasn't the end of the world. Not to her anyway.

 

When her eyes landed on the photos resting on her desk, however, that _was_ the end of the world to her, and it was too much for the dam she had built. Seeing the beautiful faces of her children smiling and waving their hands in the magically moving photo ruined her. Tears stung her eyes, but otherwise she remained silent, just allowing them to keep coming. Spike grinned in the photo, standing behind the kids with her. He wasn't even looking at the camera. He was turned towards her, his loving eyes meeting her own, camera forgotten by the both of them. It was moments like that she cherished the most. They seemed so insignificant, but to her, they were a lifeline and a memory to hold onto. She had melted into him, after that. His eyes were so blue and said so many things. She had never felt more loved.

 

And if she was going to die, that was how she wanted to do it: looking into his eyes, having that sense of fulfillment that only he could give her.

 

It wasn’t a question of ‘if’ anymore.

 

 _I am going to die,_ she thought to herself, leaning back in her chair, reddened eyes looking up at the ceiling.

 

Moments passed. Wasted moments she felt. She began to compose herself, removed all traces of make-up, ruined or otherwise. Looking in the mirror, she saw the off color of her skin, but it wasn’t completely noticeable yet. Part of her wondered if she should reapply some make-up to maintain a healthy looking complexion, but decided against it. Looking at her reflection now, she couldn’t help thinking _‘this is me’_. This was natural. There was no facade here.

 

_I am going to die._


	2. Chapter 2

Danielle walked into the office after a gentle double tap of her knuckles against the wooden door. “Going somewhere?” she asked as politely as possible, watching as Aurora gathered up several of her belongings into her satchel.

 

“Home.” That was the only response she could offer. Sobs still struggled to break free, but she had them under control for now. Aurora had promised herself that this was the only breakdown she was allowed to have. From this point forward, she needed to be strong. Her family was going to need her to be strong, and she was going to give them every ounce of strength she had to give before the time came when she needed to leave.

 

“I think you should stay here, so we can keep an eye on you, Aura,” the other woman suggested, closing the door behind her and sealing them inside the office, and Aurora never felt more cornered. “We are working very hard for a cure. It’s not just your life on the line here.”

 

“I know. I was there remember? And my advice to the others would be to do exactly what I am going to do, and I am going home, because I have to get my affairs in order, and I have to prepare my family for what’s going to happen.”

 

“But, we can have a room ready for you, and your family can come here.”

 

Aurora let out a bitter laugh. “I don’t want that.”

 

“But what if we find the cure and you aren’t here?”

 

Aurora flicked the healer’s badge on her lapel. “Then you know how to reach me, Danny. We both know, towards the end, I’ll have no choice but to be here, but for right now, I need to be anywhere else _but_ _here._ Try to understand."

 

"I guess I do."

 

Aurora flashed her a quick appreciative glance and pressed her lips together before she could say goodbye to the woman. She grabbed the photos from her desk and shoved them in her bag, and it wasn't lost on either of them that this was next to cleaning out her office. She opted to leave some of her things behind, but the important stuff, the photos and trinkets that held special meaning to her, were coming with her.

 

She stepped around the desk, and looked at the office, searching for anything else she needed to bring with her. Satisfied, she glanced at Danielle and opened the office door. "Aurora." The healer stopped and turned to face Danielle. "I want you to know, it was a real pleasure. You taught me so much, and I appreciate it. I promise, I'm not going to stop looking for a cure."

 

Aurora smiled, inclining her head. She appreciated the sentiment. "What was the first thing I taught you?" she asked, tipping an eyebrow. Danielle offered a saddened smile, but said nothing. "You can't fix everything." That said, Aurora wrapped the other healer up in a hug, a wordless goodbye passing between them. Breaking apart, she sighed to herself and left with no more preamble.

 

Walking down the corridor of St. Mungo's, Aurora took it all in. The color, the sterile smell, the hustle and bustle - the _urgency_ of the job - the lives that hung in the balance on a daily basis. All of it. She felt like she was moving in slow motion, under the effect of the Impediment Jinx, as everyone moved quickly around her, and without her, and she was left standing there alone.

 

\------------------------------------------------

 

Aurora waited until she had exited the building before withdrawing her wand to disapparate, giving the muggle side of St. Mungo's one last fleeting look before disappearing. She didn't go home right away, however, instead feeling the need to be out and about. She ended up in Diagon Alley. There was music coming from a nearby shop, and the smell of fresh pastries from the cart about halfway down the alley. The bustle of witches and wizards didn't annoy her today like it did on most others. Normally, she was in a rush to get from point A to point B, and the slow pace of the people in front of her hindered her efficiency. Not today. She wasn't in a rush, and she had no destination in mind.

 

It was hard to imagine that she wouldn't walk down this alley again, and as she thought about it, taking in the sights and the slow movement of the crowd, she felt something she hadn't experienced yet. Fear. She knew what was going to happen to her body towards the end, and her healer’s mind prepared her for the unpleasantness of it, but what happened afterwards? That very same million galleon question traipsed through her mind as it did everyone else's at some point in their lives. What happens after death? Was there another plane of existence? Would she see her father again? (This thought brought her some peace of mind, but not much). Or would if feel as though she was sleeping, drifting off into a dream land, where the definition of heaven or hell would rest in whether or not her dreams were nightmares or light and peaceable? Or, the worst outcome, would she cease to exist?

 

She stopped in her tracks, and felt the familiar pull in her gut. She was so lost in her thoughts, only startled out of them when someone bumped into her, and grunted something unintelligible in her direction. Aura looked down at the little man as he brushed past her, and she watched him walk away. Before she allowed her mind to take her down a dark path of ‘Why me? Why not him?’ she forced herself to move, and eventually found herself at Gringott’s.

 

She visited her vault, which was different from the other vault she shared with Spike. She sorted through everything, and left the galleons in there in four separate piles. One for each of her children.

 

Aurora then visited her shared vault with Spike, and grabbed her Will, knowing that now more than ever, this was the time to cross some T’s and dot some I’s. She left, knowing that she couldn’t delay going home for much longer. Outside the bank, she looked over at the newsstand, where hot off the press copies of the Daily Prophet were being advertised. The front page plastered with an image of St. Mungo's immediately caught her attention. “Shit.”


	3. Chapter 3

The healer stepped through the front door of her home, immediately smelling cinnamon. Her lips curled into a smile as she hung her bag in the entryway and dropped her keys and newspaper on the small table. She wandered through the house. Everything was silent. In the kitchen, she spotted Spike sitting at the island with a plate of cinnamon buns in front of him and a cup of hot chocolate in his hand.

 

"Hey," Aurora murmured, leaning on the archway, arms crossed. Merlin, she loved this man. His every move captivated her. He turned, startled, but she returned his radiant smile.

 

"Hey! You're home early." He fished out his watch from under his shirt cuff and studied the hands for longer than necessary. "Really early. It's not even lunchtime yet. You only started like… eight hours ago..." Spike paused, amused, as a thought occurred to him. "Did you come home for a quicky before the end of your shift?" he browed.

 

Aura looked away, unable to hold back the grin or the blush on her cheeks. "You wish you were so lucky." Her smile began to vanish, turning somber. And she lowly muttered to herself, "I wish _I_ was so lucky."

 

"What's that?"

 

"Nothing." Aura forced a smile this time, feeling the weight of her news settling on her shoulders once more. "Where are the kids?"

 

"Your mom said she'd take them today, remember?"

 

Nodding, she pushed off from her perch against the archway and came to stand in front of Spike, who had turned on his stool to face her completely. She stepped between his knees, her hands reaching to cup his cheeks, to feel his warmth. She could smell his aftershave, and smiled. He didn't question her movements, because any reason to wrap his arms around his wife's body was a good one. He pulled her closer. She knew his body like the back of her hand, but as she stood there, she felt like she was rediscovering him and memorizing everything about him. His blue eyes fluttered closed when her hands carded through the short strands of his hair.

 

She pressed her lips to his forehead, her heart rate picking up its tempo and thundering hard within her chest. A low rumble came from the handsome man before her. It managed to crack a smile. Foreheads connected, noses touched in Eskimo kisses.

 

Her mouth reached for him before long, and he came willingly, the kiss searing hot. He was looking to get laid. She was looking to make sure he _understood_. Tongues dueled for supremacy, but Spike, ever intuitive let her have her way. He grinned into the kiss. She didn't.

 

When oxygen became a deciding factor, she pulled away, resting her forehead upon his again, in an attempt to keep their connection burning between them. And it burned. She needed it more than she thought. His eyes were still closed. Her hands stroked through his hair, random in their patterns. God, this man made her feel things. "You know I love you more than anything in the world, right?" she whispered.

 

Spike opened his eyes, sensing a shift in the mood of the moment. He saw the tears in her eyes, staining her cheeks with salty wetness. "Of course, Aura. Why are you crying?"

 

"I just don't want you to have any regrets - about anything. Us. Work. The kids. I don't want you to look back and wish you had done it differently."

 

"Hey," her husband reached up to brush away a fresh tear with the pad of his thumb, "I don't regret anything, especially not us, or the kids. I love you, and them. I always will." He went silent for a moment, his ocean blues surveying her and the added droplets of water falling from her eyes. There were times when Aurora came home and she was overly emotional, so he took a shot in the dark. "Did you lose a patient today?"

 

Her breath hitched, and she considered him for a moment. "Something like that," she answered finally. "Babe, there is something I have to tell you."

 

"You know you can tell me anything," he reassured her, which earned him the saddest smile. He’d do anything she needed, without question or hesitation.

 

She stepped back, out of his arms, feeling the need to put some distance between them. She had barely come to terms with this herself, and now she was about to pin-prick the balloon that was their whole life. She rested her hand on the island counter. Lips dry, she moistened them, slightly amused when his eyes trailed the path of her tongue. "I, um..." Aura inhaled deeply, looked away from her husband, sighed out that breath of air, but even that wasn't enough to help her break the news and she remained silent for another moment, until finally, "There was an accident at the hospital today."

 

Spike’s eyes quickly did a once over of Aurora’s body, determining that it couldn't be that bad if she didn't appear to be hurt. She had his undivided attention. There was no going back now. The chance to hide this and let nature take it's course without bringing her family into the loop had passed by. And she _knew_ that the choice to leave her family out of this until the bitter end would have been the extremely selfish and it would have made her family resent her after the time came. "They still aren't sure what happened. There's going to be an investigation, but what I do know is, it's bad. Spike, it's really bad."

 

Spike's hand found its way to hers, and he stroked soothing circles on her skin, allowing her to find her words in her own time. Aurora always appreciated that, especially knowing that inside his mind, he was impatient to have all the information all at once. "There is a potions research department at the hospital, which is a sub-department in the Potions division. They keep the hospital stocked with cures, etcetera. The research division obviously creates cures."

 

Aura shook her head. This was so stupid. This was the reason she was going to die. "I don't know what happened. I wasn't there, but it looks like something went wrong with a potion they were testing. It created a toxic gas that spread through part of the hospital before anyone knew what was happening. The two researchers are already dead. And everyone in the immediate area at the time, patients and healers alike, they have only hours left and very little hope for a cure."

 

"That's awful." Still, Spike’s understanding wasn’t complete, but seeing how emotional his wife was over the incident, he wanted to.

 

A long silence descended upon them. She looked at their hands intertwined and the wedding ring on her finger. "I want to thank you, for giving me my happily ever after, Spike." Aura's voice was so soft and heartfelt, and filled with such pain; and her eyes spilled tears she couldn’t contain as she broke both their hearts. "I'm just so sorry I couldn't be yours."

 

Time stood still. "What?" Such a small word from his mouth demanded so much from her.

 

She felt ill. She looked away, her eyes focusing on anything else. "I was in the immediate area." There was such a finality to the statement.


	4. Chapter 4

Spike swallowed the lump in his throat, Adams apple bobbing against the high collar of his dress shirt and tie. He obviously had been planning on heading into the office at some point after lunch. She estimated that as soon as his hot chocolate was finished, he would have been in the fireplace, flooing to Hogsmeade, looking for the next big treasure hunt adventure.

 

For a split second, he thought about calling her out on this really lame joke. They liked to yank each others chains every now and again, telling fibs and break out into a grin to prove it wasn't real, betting orgasms on which twin was crying on the baby monitors when they were born. She wasn't grinning, and to be honest, she wasn't that good of an actress to bring on the waterworks the way she was.

 

Silence.

 

It was deafening.

 

And then Spike's stool scraped against the floor, and _that_ was deafening, and startling. He pulled her to him and she crashed into his chest willingly. His heart was racing, understandably, she could feel it against her cheek. His grip around her was tight and possessive, and he dared Fate to defy him. "There has to be a way..." he trailed.

 

"The healers and other researchers are working on it. Danny is working on it. I don't have much hope that she'll find the cure. Perhaps in time, but not _in time._ They don't even know what potions created the toxin yet. The Prophet it blowing up over it."

 

He squeezed tighter until she felt like she couldn't breathe, but she didn't pull away. "I can't lose you," he breathed into her hair. "I can't imagine my life without you." It was so surreal. Here she was in his arms, but yet in a few hours... "How long?"

 

Aurora knew the question was coming. "Twenty-three hours, give or take. It's not an exact science."

 

His body shuddered, and she knew he was crying. "This isn't fair. It's not _right_ ," he growled out.

 

"I know. We had an amazing 15 years together, though."

 

"I want another 15 years, Aurora. And another 15 years after that. Our plans... We were going to adopt… move away… _retire..._ "

 

Aurora lifted her head from his chest and gazed up at him. She smiled and her hands reached up, thumbs brushing away the streaks of wetness on his cheeks. "You still should. Adopt, that is." Adopting wasn't something Spike would have considered on his own. He was very much a man who wanted his own offspring, and he had that now. A wonderful family he had instilled in all the values he himself possessed. "You'd be giving a home to someone who needs it. You're an amazing father. And the fact that you can give stability to a child who needs it, is an amazing thing, too."

 

Spike shook his head softly. He couldn’t think about that right now. His thoughts were drifting a day ahead, and they seemed to be stuck there, trying to comprehend what had just happened. _A day. A blink of an eye._ “I don’t know what I am going to do without you.”

 

“Just live. Be happy.” Her hands moved across his chest. His own tears threatened her. She was trying really hard not to break down for him, and he was testing her resolve.

 

“Not without you.”

 

“That’s not an option anymore, Spike. But… at least… we have a chance… to say goodbye.” She gave him a reassuring smile.

 

“I’m not buying that smile,” he said, “put it back.” The smile disappeared from her face, but she was still slightly amused by his wit. “Maybe the healers were wrong.”

 

“I wish that were so, but... I looked over the tests results myself. There’s no mistake.”

 

“A day…” It was almost a whimper, and a curse against the universe. His hands touched her hair, her face, her arms, sending fire hot tingles through her entire body with the simplest of touches. He was doing to her what she was trying to do to him; trying to keep the image of her in his mind. “A day.” Spike’s grip on her shoulders tightened, and she could see the hardened look in his eyes. “I’m going to sue.”

 

“Wait, what?” Aurora pulled back slightly. She knew what this was, but that didn’t mean she had to like it. It was merely misdirected anger, and she couldn’t fault him for it. “Spike, you can’t sue the hospital.”

 

“Yes, I can. This is fucking unbelievable. It’s outrageous.”

 

Everyone dealt with their grief in different ways. This was something Spike felt was within his control and it was something he could focus his volatile emotions towards. “Spike, no. Hey, look at me. No, okay? This isn’t the hospital’s fault. It was an _accident._ Nothing more. Let it go.” she noticed he had been holding his breath. He was shaking. “Let it go. Spike…” her voice went deeper, imploring him, “let it go.”

 

Spike relaxed, exhaling slowly. She pressed feather light kisses along his jaw, enticing him to respond to her, and nothing else. And he did, needing her just as much as she needed him.


	5. Chapter 5

It was an indulgent couple of hours. Hours she wouldn’t have spent any other way. She showered while Spike slumbered in their bed, and after dressing in jeans and a teal blouse, she found herself leaning against the wall - lounging against it, more like - watching the even rise and fall of her husband’s chest. Maybe she had worn him out more than she thought, which was a memory she was more than happy to take to the grave with her.

 

Aurora knew that when he roused from his nap, he would be mightily upset that she didn’t wake him. He wanted to spend every last moment with her, but if they did that, no matter how much she wanted to, she wouldn’t get any of the other things she needed to get done.

 

She found herself in the study, pouring over her Will. It didn’t take much, as she and Spike had been prepared for years, and years now for the eventuality of their mortalities. She then began to write letters and folded each of them up to place in the top drawer of her desk, where eventually, they _would_  be found. Just as the drawer closed, sealing away those named envelopes, Spike entered the room with a yawn, running a hand through his head of bed-head hair and wearing the now rumpled clothes she had peeled from his body earlier. She smiled, switching off the lamp and moving to meet him halfway. “Hey,” she whispered softly, kissing him.

 

“Come back to bed,” he murmured, leading her out of the study.

 

“I can’t.” He stopped, and turned to look at her. “Spike, I don’t have much time left.” She voiced it as delicately as possible. “I have to go.”

 

“Go? Where?”

 

“There are just… things I need to do, before…” she trailed off, knowing just how painful this was for him. The question was in his eyes: _what things?_ “I have to tell Alex.”

 

Spike couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “This is… your last day…” Aurora understood the unsaid accusation, because she could see it written all over his face. This was her last day on Earth and she wasn’t going to spend it with him? “I want you here.” Looking at him now, she knew the reality was starting to settle in, but it hadn’t settled in completely. He was still clinging to hope that this would blow over. The cure would be found. His wife would be fine.

 

“I know, Spike, but this is just something I have to do. And then, my mum needs to know, aunt Kathryn, uncle Mike.. And I want to go to my dad’s grave, _our kids_ … so much to do…” _So little time._

 

“I‘ll go with you…” he stepped closer to her, imposing himself on the rest of her life and her personal space, which was definitely within his rights, and she understood the sentiment, but her hands lightly pushed him back a step.

 

“No. This… is just something I need to do on my own. Especially Alex. It’s hard enough, having told you.”

 

“No. You’re _my_ wife, and I _need_ you. Now more than ever.”

 

Aurora stepped back, a flash of anger danced in her eyes before softening. This was a lot, and he didn’t deserve her anger, not so close to the finish line. “This isn’t just about _you,_ you know.” His eyes were cold, but she barrelled on. “This is about everyone. It’s about _me._ This is about the things I need to do, so I can make peace with what’s going to happen; so I can have some semblance of closure _before the end.”_ Spike looked away, not wanting to understand the words coming out from her mouth. “I need to be able to say goodbye to the people I love. Most people would beg for the chance to be able to do the same.”

 

“What about me, Aurora?”

 

“We’ve had part one of our goodbye, and,” she whispered, “it was amazing.” She didn’t want to say it had been life affirming, but it had been; it was a moment where she felt more alive than ever. A grin formed on her face when he finally cracked a smile. “You always come first, and I promise you, we will have more time in a few hours. We have all night. Go. Get the kids, be with them for now,” she knew it would make him feel better, and it would give her the chance to talk to Alex, which she had a feeling was going to take most of her time. “And it will free up mum, for when I talk to her.”

 

A perfect plan, but he still looked as though she had betrayed him in the worst possible way.

 

“Please, I need you to do this,” she murmured. “For me. Please, _please,_ don’t be mad. I just...”

 

“I know,” Spike said, stepping closer to her, his lips pressing against her cheek.

 

“See? That right there… one of the reasons I fell in love with you.” The love and understanding that came from this man, even when he didn’t want to show those things made her heart flutter. She kissed him deeply, before pulling away, her hand trailing along his jaw before breaking away completely and heading towards the entrance. He followed, and waited at the door while she walked down to the edge of the driveway.

 

She turned around to look at him, a lasting look, a connection that just spoke volumes between them of love, devotion and support. And then, she was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

ALEX’S PLACE

 

Aurora disapparated from her driveway and ended up at Alex’s door. She looked at the number listed on the door and sighed. Part of her wanted to let herself in the way Alex always insisted on, but instead, she opted for double tapping her knuckles on the hard wood. She heard commotion on the other side of the door and waited patiently. _Ugh, forget it. Come in!_

 

Aurora smirked and opened the door, seeing Alex juggling an infant on her lap and some baby food in her other hand. The other twin, her namesake, was on the playmat where the coffee table used to be. She chuckled and closed the door behind her.

 

Aurora wandered into the living room, taking in mom!Alex, which was always a pleasure to see. “I could have been a complete stranger, you know.”

 

Alex looked up from her son, grinning. “I know, but what are the odds, eh? Not many people would be so consistent with their knocks. You always tap twice. I knew it was you,” she looked back down at her son and the task at hand. “Besides, Rora spit up a few times today, so, really, could this day get any worse?”

 

This made the healer feel sick. The knot in her stomach twisted, and pulled, and she felt like she was going to double over in agony. “No matter how bad you think things are, there’s always room for a little worse,” she replied, doing her very best to resist showing Alex that she should _never_ tempt Fate, because Fate was a petty little bitch.

 

Aura looked around the living room, counted only the two kids. “Crey, Davis and CJ?” she inquired, stooping to pick up little Aurora from the playmat and the nearest stuffed animal, which happened to be a… “Hippopotamus? Really?” she laughed and sat down on the couch next to Alex. She was completely entranced by the infant after doing a quick medical reading of the child, and quickly deduced that it was only an upset tummy. Her hair was growing, dark like her mother’s. “Hey, kiddo,” Aurora cooed.

 

“Um, Crey, Davis and CJ are out. Should be home in about… an hour. Probably less now. You know how time flies when you’re doing… this,” she held up a spoonful of apple mush and began to make airplane noises as the imaginary plane took a complicated route towards its final destination: Vittorio’s mouth. If Aurora had her camera, she would have taken a picture and had it framed. Often, moments like this were missed, for no one to see or remember. How many moments in her life were so blissful, so perfect… and she couldn’t recall them now unless she were to visit her pensieve, and only then, would she be able to visit the memory if she had actively made a copy of it and stored it away.

 

Truth be told, Aurora missed this. Holding babies, and being completely depended on by her children. Her kids were now at the age where they could make decisions on their own with very little supervision from her or Spike. Okay, this was debateable where AJ was concerned, but for the most part, they were good kids, and thinking about them now made it clear just how much this was tearing apart her heart. She wasn’t going to be able to see them graduate. She wasn’t going to be able to see them experience their first loves. Engagements. Weddings. Grandchildren. Things she had been terrified to think about before, but right now, seemed like the very reason why she wanted to continue to _live._

 

“Where were you just now?” Alex’s voice pulled Aura out from her deep and troubled thoughts.

 

The healer forced her eyes to look at her cousin - nay, her best friend - and shook her head slightly. “Just admiring your children, Quack. They are beautiful. Treasure every moment, okay?”

 

That earned her a smile. “Oh, I do.” Alex watched her cousin playing with young Rora, and it was heartwarming. “You know, she’s got your… eye.” Aurora raised an eyebrow, looking into her namesake’s eyes. “Which I guess sounds a little weird.”

 

“Not weird at all,” Aura quipped, “because she’s mine. Didn’t you get that memo? I think it’s more than likely from Aunt Kathryn and my dad - the eye color, that is.”

 

“Something is bothering you.” It wasn’t a question, just a statement of fact. Alex always seemed to be able to sense when Aurora’s mood shifted, or when she was putting on a facade for the benefit of everyone around her. Alex knew that Aurora was a proud woman, and didn’t advertise her shortcomings, nor did she ask for help easily. Usually, she would have to claw for every shred that Aura would give her, but it was always worth it, and in the end, Aura never could figure out why she held back in the first place. She would always feel better after talking to Alex.

 

“Nah,” Aura lied. Alex saw it. The redirect of her eyes, the blatant interest in anything other than her, the tight clenching of her jaw.

 

Aurora’s tells. There were others, but with an infant in her hands, they weren’t noticeable. “Out with it.” Alex fed Vittorio another spoonful.

 

Shaking her head, Aura held Rora close. “Don’t ruin the moment, Quack,” she breathed, as the child settled in, finding comfort, love and protection in her arms; enough to make her fall into a light slumber.

 

“I’ve been trying to get her to nap for the last few hours. Turns out, she just wanted her godmum.”

 

Aura’s breath caught. Another tell. How was she going to tell her cousin that she would need to find another godmother? Well, she’d be able to ask Abigail, and that would certainly make the muggle Davis child happy. Something told Aura that it never quite sat right with Gailie that Aura had been picked over her to be Alex’s maid of honor, and the godmother to all her children. Alex and Gailie were sisters. Aura and Alex were cousins, but somewhere along the line, they had become more than that during their time at Hogwarts, experiencing similar things in different ways. Both were affected by events in different ways, too, something Aurora would always be eternally grateful for. Somehow, Alex escaped Hogwarts physically unscathed by the Death Eaters, and Aura wasn’t so lucky.

 

They had become best friends, confiding in each other, and living up to promises to protect one another, and that had turned into them being as close as sisters after the solid foundation had been built.

 

The healer counted herself lucky. Not all families were like that. Cousins didn’t always connect so well. Maybe that was what happened between Aurora and Gailie. When she went off to Hogwarts and Gailie did not, they drifted, and they were no longer the peas in a pod. They were just… _related_ , and not much else. It was something Aurora had come to suspect was resentment on Gailie’s part.

 

And as Aurora sat there, mulling this over, holding little Aurora close, she couldn’t help but feel saddened for the state of her relationship with her muggle cousin.

 

A regret. It clamped tightly in her gut, and she knew, this wasn’t going to be the only one to creep up on her like a silent ninja. “I’ll put her down for you,” she murmured absently, doing her best to hide the stinging tears in her eyes, as she rose from her spot on the couch and wandered to the twin’s room.

 

Alex could hear Aura on the baby monitor, murmuring soft nothings to the child. _“I know you’re going to be a strong witch when you grow up.”_ Before she could listen to more of what was being said in the other room, the front door opened, and Creylen pushed in a stroller with the other two toddlers in it, both fast asleep.

 

“Home already?” Alex was the tone of surprise.

 

“Should I be more offended that you didn’t miss me?” the blue haired man inquired.

 

“That’s not what I meant -”

 

Aurora walked back into the living room, greeting Creylen warmly. “Are you taking good care of my Alex?” she tipped an eyebrow, ready to pounce if the answer was anywhere near negative.

 

“Of course. I told you a long time ago, Aura, that I had no interest in being dismembered.”

 

“Good.” She paused. “Good.” Aura looked at Alex again, and her puzzled eyes, oh how they stunned her into silence. She was about to open her mouth. She was about to lay all her cards down on the table, but the little boy in her hands, the two boys in the stroller, the blue haired man now resting on the couch next to his wife, happily making faces at Vittorio - they all arrested her vocal chords. It was picture perfect. She couldn't do this.

 

Aura put her shoes back on. “Where you going, Squirt?”

 

The question alarmed Aura, because she just didn’t _know_. Heaven, or hell, or an eternal existence as a ghost, she just didn’t _know_ , even if the question posed had been asked in a more short term perspective. “I just came by for a quick visit,” she replied, dodging the question.

Her mind was screaming at her to just grow a pair and get this over with. Rip off the band-aid, but she didn’t think she could. Alex had been a constant source of strength for her over the years. She had witnessed the best, and the very worst in Aurora, and she was still there. Their familial bond, and the bond born of trust between them was so strong, she thought nothing could break it, but this… it felt different. It was different.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

 

Such a simple question had her looking up at the ceiling. Yet another tell. “Yeah,” she drew a shaky breath. “One way, or another.”

 

Dead, or alive.

 

Aura turned to leave, and Alex saw it. She felt it. Something was wrong.


	7. Chapter 7

She wasn’t going to be able to watch Alex tackle parenthood, and somehow, that thought hit deeper than Aura thought it would. Since she had married Spike, she had mentioned to Alex how fulfilling it was to be a mother, and perhaps her comments were a little insensitive, because she knew Alex wanted the chance, but timing and opportunity were never in her favor. Years of living vicariously through Aurora and her own kids, until she and Creylen had gotten their shit together, married, and produced two sets of twins.

 

Now that it finally happened for Alex, Aura couldn’t be there to see it come to fruition?

 

Aurora closed the door behind her, her thoughts lost within her mind kept her from realizing she could just disapparate. Suddenly, Alex’s voice came from behind her, door reopened. “Squirt, what’s going on? Are you feeling alright? You look a little off.”

 

“It’s nothing,” Aura murmured, heading down the stairs to street level.

 

“Squirt, I know nothing. Nothing is practically family to me, and _this, this_ is not nothing,” she pressed, following her cousin down the steps.

 

“Let it go, Alex.” Aurora breathed in the summer heat and began her trek down the sidewalk with no real destination in mind. Alex was following her, and disapparating now would have been rude, and not the way she wanted to leave things between them in her last hours.

 

“How many times do we have to do this song and dance, Aura?”

 

“At least one more time,” the healer muttered darkly.

 

Alex sighed. “You bottle things up, I press, you let it all out, and in the end, you feel better. Save us both some trouble, eh?” she added with an elbow nudge.

 

Aura grit her teeth and stopped walking. She had come to Alex for a reason - they both knew that. When Aura dodged what was really on her mind, Alex pressed - they both knew that, too. Alex wasn’t going to let this go until she had gotten to the bottom of it, and that wasn’t even attributed to her profession as a psychologist. It was just a family thing, a support thing, a ‘ _you can tell me anything’_ thing.

 

“There was an accident at St. Mungo’s this morning.”

 

Alex didn’t look surprised, which surprised Aurora. “I read about it in the paper. It’s awful. I’m just so glad you weren’t there. I panicked at first,” she added with a self-deprecating chuckle, “then I remembered we talked. ”

 

Aura’s breath escaped her. She remembered telling Alex that today was supposed to be her day off, but the high number of patients demanded more healers, and she had volunteered to go in shortly after that conversation. She had forgotten. What Spike must’ve really been thinking earlier. _Fuck._ It had felt like a normal work day.

 

“Is that what’s bothering you?”

 

She wanted to say yes. She wanted to say no. Neither answer would get Alex to back off, so, she remained silent, and looked both ways before crossing the street. For the record, silence wasn’t a way to get Alex to back off, either.

 

Aurora could feel Alex’s presence following her across the road. “Go back to your family, Alex. I just… can’t deal with this right now. I thought I could. I thought it would be easier, but it’s worse.”

 

“What’s worse? _Why_ is it worse?”

 

“Because…” She was so close to letting it out, but she pulled herself back. This wasn’t how she imagined it would go down. She had hoped to sit Alex down in her living room and tell her. It was private, intimate. Not like this, on a noisy London street with multitudes of cars driving by. “Fuck it.” She took them around a corner where there were no pedestrians, grabbed Alex’s hand and disapparated.

 

They arrived in Aurora’s old loft. The furniture was covered with protective sheets, and the air was stale and musty. No one had been there in a really long time, but it was still _hers,_ and she had a hard time letting it go. She had talked to Spike after he requested they just sell it, and Aura insisted that maybe one day, one of the kids could have it - it just wasn’t going to be up to her which one. They could flip a galleon, or rock, paper, scissors each other over it for all she cared.

 

Alex took in her surroundings, immediately recognizing the apartment. Aura had once offered it to her after she moved in with Spike, but Alex had declined. Besides, even now, this was hard the place to raise a wizarding family. “What are we doing here, Squirt?”

 

“Time and a place.”

 

Alex looked over at her, understanding that whatever was on Aurora’s mind, it was going to come out now. “So, St. Mungo’s?” Alex inquired, moving to find a seat on the sheet covered couch.

 

“Yeah. St. Mungo’s.”

 

“I told you it wasn’t nothing.”

 

“ _Really?_ You’re going to play the ‘I told you so’ card now?”

 

“Sorry,” Alex held up her hands in innocent surrender. “So, those healers - your friends?”

 

Aura looked away, swallowing the lump in her throat. She was past the point of no return now, and she moved to sit on the coffee table directly in front of Alex. “No, actually. I mean, they’re acquaintances, but uh…” But that didn’t mean she would be inviting them into her home for dinner. Aside from the casual greetings between co-workers, they weren’t much more than that, and Aura didn’t need to elaborate with Alex, as the elder witch nodded her head in understanding. “I know one, really well, though.” It was like dangling a carrot.

 

Aura knew, Alex had slipped into part psychologist mode. She often toed the line between being there as a friend, and using her skills to help Aura come to some deeper realization that she had been denying herself. But, that  was also a two way street, with Aura being Alex’s physician. Whenever Alex had a simple head cold, Aura was there, shoving her career down her throat. They did it to each other.

 

Alex’s physician. Who would make sure Alex stayed healthy now?

 

Alex waited, watching the wheels in Aura’s brain overload. “You can tell me anything. You know that.”

 

“Everyone keeps saying that.” Aura shook her head. “Maybe my hesitation has nothing to do with you. Did it ever occur to you that if I tell you, it will tear _me_ up inside? After that, after I tell you... it becomes real. It sets in, and I’m not _ready_ for it. And it will make me realize just how scared I actually am. God, I am so scared.” She was losing the tight control she had over her emotions.

 

Alex reached for Aura’s hands, holding them both between her own. Connection. Strength. Love. Understanding. All those things made Aurora’s tear filled eyes look up at her cousin. She pressed her lips in a tight line, willing the words to stay buried, but they wouldn’t. She could feel them rising up under Alex’s intense gaze.

 

She opened her mouth several times to speak, and when her voice came, it was broken. “I… I… I went into work today.”

 

Alex froze, her hands ceasing the light friction they had been creating with Aura’s. Alex was a smart woman. She knew how to connect dots. She knew who Aura’s ‘friend’ at the hospital was. “Please don’t say it,” she breathed.

 

Aura said nothing.

 

They sat in silence for a long while, the air tense with their flaring emotions. Aura let her thoughts drift, thinking of various things, past, present and future, but they came to her in no particular order. She remained silent, letting Alex adjust, if that was what you could call it.

 

“What’s going through your mind?” Alex’s soft voice eventually pulled her out from the dark depths. She could feel Aura’s hands trembling in her own. Tears had streaked down her cheeks, and Aura wondered how she missed seeing that.

 

“Fear.” Her whole body shuddered. “I don’t want to die, Quack. In a world full of murderers, thieves, rapists and every other big bad out there, why _me_? I don’t want to know what’s on the other side. Not yet. I just started _living_ again.” She had put everything that happened in her youth behind her. “I can’t believe this is happening. I think I’ve cried more in the last ten hours than I have… _ever._ ”

 

Alexandria listened, unsure what to say, or do. Like Aura, she couldn’t believe it.

 

“I always thought…” she couldn’t quite bring herself to freely say it. The healer stood up and paced on the other side of the room. Silence hung in the air for a second.

 

“Thought what?” came the gentle push she needed.

 

“I always thought, my death would be violent. That it would mean something, that it would have made a difference.” _That she would have gone down swinging._ “This, having a ticking clock over my head, it’s worse. It’s so much worse, because of this,” she gestured between the two of them. “Telling people. Seeing the look in their eyes.”

 

Alex looked away guiltily.

 

“What am I supposed to say to make this easier?” Aura asked, glancing towards the window. “I’m happy I get a chance to say goodbye. Grateful, even, but then I wish it had been quick and painless, instead of this slow agony.” Aurora shook her head gently. “Borrowed time,” she cursed. "I don't... I can't..."

 

All her emotions were coiling violently in her gut like an out of control tornado. She bent at the waist, bracing her arms on her thighs as her chest heaved with each intake of hair.

 

Alex rose to her feet instantly. Shoving her own tears aside, she crossed the room arms coaxing her cousin into a hug. It was fierce. Aura clutched at Alex tightly, sobbing into her shoulder, face buried in the purple of Alex’s shirt. "I promised myself I wasn't going to break down. I'm sorry."

 

"You never have to apologize to me. Ever. If you can't break down with me, who can you?" Alex whispered in her ear, earning her another sob.

 

"My family... All the things I am going to miss..." it was a wail directed to the universe for ripping her away from her family too soon. "Your promise..." Aura pulled back, seeking Alex's eyes. "I need you to-"

 

"Aura, it goes without saying. I’ll look out for them.”

 

“Thank you.” There was a certain relief that washed through the healer at that moment. There had never been any doubt in her mind that Alex would look out for her family, but to hear it in words, it just made it that much more real.


	8. Chapter 8

She had no idea how long they were standing there, but their embrace felt right, and it was just what the healer ordered. No matter how much Aurora tried to convince herself that she wanted to be alone, and to be away from the sympathetic eyes of her family, there were those she was willing to let within the walls she had built up around her heart. Alex was one of them.

 

“I feel like this should be some sort of sick joke,” Alex spoke up suddenly, and reluctantly let Aura go when the younger woman pulled away. “I’m sorry, Squirt, I didn’t mean it like that.”

 

“I know,” Aura replied, looking at the Robert Bateman painting on the wall of the dozing Lynx cat. It was one of her favorites.

 

“It’s just,” Alex continued, feeling as though she had caused something of a blunder where her cousin was concerned, “look at you.” She hastily wiped at the tears in her eyes while Aura’s back was turned. “You look _fine_ , perhaps a bit off color, but you haven’t gone on your family vacation yet…”

 

The word ‘yet’ caused Aurora to tense.

 

“Crap,” Alex muttered to herself.

 

“Alex, it’s fine.” Aurora turned around, shaking her head in a defeated sort of way. “You’re right, I look fine…” she held out her hands for Alex to see, “... for _now.”_

 

The meaning behind Aura’s words did not escape Alex. “What’s going to happen to you?” Her jaw clenched, not sure she wanted to know the answer, but hey, it was pandora’s box and she couldn’t resist. It wasn’t a question of whether she wanted to know. She needed to.

 

She should have expected the curiosity, the _need_ to know certain things. That was the Ravenclaw way. “Alex, I’d rather not… if you don’t mind.”

 

“Okay.” What else could Alex say? Then, it occurred to her. “It’s not going to be peaceful, is it?”

 

“No, Alex. It’s not. I can already feel what’s happening to me.” Aura crossed her arms and moved to the other side of the room, closing herself off. She had broken down enough, and now she needed to regain her strength for her family. She cleared her throat.

 

“Like what?”

 

“Is the meaning of _I’d rather not_ lost on you?”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“No. No, I’m sorry,” Aura murmured, turning to face Alex again, hoping the look in her eyes was enough to convince her cousin she was sincere. “It’s just…” she hesitated for a second. “I’m trying not to think about it. I’m just trying to make some kind of peace with all this.”

 

“I understand, Squirt.”

 

Aura barked a laugh. “You understand, but you hate it.”

 

“Of course I hate it, Squirt. I hate all of this. I can’t believe this is happening. I don’t want to believe that when I wake up tomorrow, you won’t be here.”

 

“Just think of it as… I’m at Hogwarts.”

 

Alex heaved a sigh. “That’s not funny.” The healer shook her head slightly and resumed pacing. “You seem so calm.” She knew this was the facade that was put back in place. The momentary lapse was just that - a lapse.

 

“It comes and goes.” Aura bit her bottom lip and sat down on the arm of the couch. She wouldn’t stay there for long. Her whole body felt like it was buzzing with energy, but it was mainly anxiety. “There are times when I feel at peace and,” she drew in a shaky breath, “there are times when I am just barely holding on; case and point, five minutes ago.” She let out a slight chuckle.

 

“You know you don’t have to hide anything from me.”

 

“Yes, I know. And, thank you. Same goes, you know.”

 

“You have time?”

 

Oh my god, Aurora actually had to look at her watch to figure it out. Just how much time did she really have left?

 

“Yeah,” she responded. “I got time.”

 

Alex rounded the table and sat down on the couch. She didn’t want to move, or even acknowledge that there was a world that continued to spin outside the immediate presence of her cousin. When Aura was gone, the world would continue to turn. Her life would go on, even if there was a missing piece.

 

The only thing to be heard in the room was their breathing, and it came to a point where Aurora moved to sit on the couch right next to Alex and rested her head upon her shoulder. Alex wrapped her arms around Aura, holding her close, and Aura found herself comfortable. She didn’t want to move.

 

A while later, Alex felt her shirt to be a little damp on her shoulder, and she realized that Aura had been silently crying. She squeezed tighter, recalling that Aura had said her turbulent emotions ‘ _comes and goes’_. “Squirt, I need to know…”

 

“No. Look, it’s not that I don’t want to tell you… well, actually, I don’t want to tell you… But, believe me, I’m sparing you.”

 

“Aura, please…”

 

"Alex, I don't know what to tell you here."

 

"The truth might be good."

 

“That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one who’s gotta go through it.”

 

“I’m just saying, Squirt, you don’t need to go through this alone.”

 

“I’m not.” Aura meant that in more ways than one. There were healers at the hospital who were also going through it, as well as a handful of patients, who had gone there to get better, and ended up being worse off. She also meant it as her family was there for her. Alex, was sitting right there with her, holding her as though she were a child - and Aurora was as scared as a child would be at night with a monster in the closet. “Besides, it doesn’t even matter,” she added. “For now, I’m mostly asymptomatic, and I am going to try and stay that way for as long as possible.”

 

Normally, Aurora didn’t keep secrets, but there were just some things that her family was better off not knowing, like the Order of the Phoenix, and what the bitter end was going to look like for her, and the fact that Aurora had no intention of facing the bitter end in such a manner.

 

She had already taken steps to avoid it. Some might call it cowardly, but she wanted to go out with at least a little dignity. She had already sent in her request to be euthanized, which was something that needed to be approved by the Hospital board and the Ministry. Healers couldn’t just go around killing their patients because their patients wanted the pain to end. That was murder, but if it was approved, well, no healer enjoyed walking into a room and killing a patient, no matter what kind of pain they were in. It was a rare thing, and in her entire career, Aura had only ever had to do it once, because she would never ask anyone to do what she herself wasn’t willing to do. Thank Merlin it happened so infrequently.

 

She never slept right after that, though, sometimes dreaming about it in high definition.

 

"I don't know how I'm going to tell mum," Aura quietly whispered, more for her own benefit than Alex's. "I'm glad she has someone in her life now, though."

 

"Need to tell my mum, too," Alex added to the list. "Selina, Gailie, the trips, Crey." The psychologist cleared her throat for a second, a thought hitting her, a thought she didn't particularly enjoy and made her bristle. "Lazarus? Your birth mother?"

 

"Well, you know I've cut ties with Laz and Relina a long time ago. If they come to the funeral, that's fine, and I hope you wouldn't turn them away..." Aurora hoped that she was making her wishes clear here. "As for the others... Alex, I need to ask you a huge favor..."

 

"Oh Squirt..." Alex was already shaking her head, knowing exactly what Aura wanted her to do, and she didn't want to. She didn't think she had it in her. She'd undoubtedly break down before the words could leave her mouth.

 

"Alex, I need to tell my kids. And spend time with them, because I need _them_. That's just what I need to do. They are everything to me. I only have so long, and I just need to be with them." It felt like she was being repeatedly stabbed in the gut. "God," she whimpered. "I feel guilty."

 

"Guilty? Why?" Alex inquired, glancing down at the crown of Aura's head.

 

"I wasn't going to tell anyone at first, but I know that if I had hid it from everyone, and you found out, which is extremely likely after the Prophet got wind of this fantastic blunder, then you would all go on resenting me. I don't know... It's so complicated. I just wish this had been quick...." Aurora paused, feeling to need to try and tame her emotions again. Quick meant she wouldn't have to deal with any of this. Everything going on in her brain was in conflict. She sighed heavily. "I felt I owed it to you all. And I thought..."

 

"Thought what?"

 

"I thought that if I told you, and Spike and mum... that maybe - _maybe_ \- I could find peace with this, but I haven't. This hurts so much more than if I hadn't told you. And I feel like... Like I've let my family down."

 

“Hey,” Alex admonished, arms holding tighter to Aura, “don’t even start thinking like that, okay? There is no possible way you could let your family down. I mean it, Aura. You have no idea how proud we are of you. Spike doesn’t shut up about you.”

 

Alex could tell that Aura wasn’t quite believing her. There wasn’t much she could do about that, either. Whatever Aura was feeling was what she was feeling no matter what she said, and after the day she was having, Alex couldn’t chastise her for it. “I don’t shut up about you, either, Squirt. You’re my idol.”

 

Aurora shook her head disagreeably.

 

“You’ve been through so much,” Alex went on, her own thoughts driving back to the wizarding school. “More than anyone should ever go through, but you pulled yourself together, Squirt. You survived all of that, and you’re a stronger person for it. Don’t think I don’t know how hard it was for you to give up your dream of becoming an Auror, and how hard it was to go back to the castle after everything… You put on a brave face, and hide the fact that something is hurting you. I know you, better than you know yourself sometimes.”

 

“I’m still so broken, Alex.”


	9. Chapter 9

Alex wasn't expecting Aura to voice something that was so raw. “You’re the only one who sees yourself that way, but I am still proud of you, for everything you’ve done with your life. For pulling it together.”

 

“You know I owe all that to you, right?” Aura murmured. “If it wasn’t for you, I’d be in the psyche ward, undoubtedly. I owe you everything. You saved my life.”

 

“You saved yourself. You don’t owe me anything.”

 

The healer chuckled. “Agree to disagree.”

 

“I love you, Squirt.” Alex let her emotions get the better of her, and tears began to fall.

 

Aurora shifted, pulling Alex closer to _her_ instead and giving Alex a shoulder to cry on. “I love you, too, Quack.”

 

Alex accepted the comfort she was being offered. Even though she mind was screaming that Aurora wasn’t dead, yet, it was the _yet_ part that kept getting to her, and allowed the tears to keep flowing. Part of her cursed herself, feeling as though she was supposed to be there for her cousin. She eventually came to a point where she admitted to herself that they were there for each other, and that was fine with her.

 

It was selfish, the thoughts going through her mind. All Alex wanted was to be able to be with Aura right until the end. Now that they were in her final hours, she felt like she hadn't stopped to truly appreciate the nature of their friendship. You never know what you have until it's gone.

 

Aura held her cousin, and offered a soft apology. She never meant for this to happen.

 

"Do you want me to come with you?" Alex asked, then sniffled her tears away.

 

"Hmm?"

 

"To your mum's."

 

Part of Aurora felt like she needed to do it alone. No matter how bad Aura thought her life was, she felt her mum's was worse. Trying for children with the man she loved, and finding out she couldn't. And by some miracle, she managed a baby, only to have her beloved die in the same accident that took the unborn child away from her, too. Sarah Braelin might not be Aura's birth mother, but she was every bit her mum, and that was far more important than blood.

 

And Aura didn’t think she could do it alone, as much as she wanted to.

 

"I think I _need_ you to," Aura confessed.

 

"How's Spike doing?"

 

"Pissed. At the hospital. At me. At the universe." She shrugged her shoulders slightly and sighed. "I understand that. But, he's always claimed that I don't put him or my family first. That is always at the root of any argument we've had. I never understood that. I'm facing the end of my story now, and I can't help feeling like I've failed him. And I'm still failing him as we speak. I don't understand why he sees that, when all I've ever done was for him and for our family."

 

Aurora fell into contemplative silence. She loved her husband more than life itself. She would gladly lay it all on the line for him if it came down to it. She thought she had proven herself to him years ago, before they were married, when she left England to follow him to Germany where he was taking over a portion of the family business. They weren't there for very long, and Spike opened an office in Hogsmeade, allowing them both to live where they wanted: London.

 

That was the thing with Spike and Aura. They were both alphas in their relationship. Both stubborn. Both territorial. Both set in their ways.

 

"I'll say it again, Aura," Alex broke the quiet stillness. "I know how hard it was for you to give up being an Auror."

 

"I wasn't going to."

 

Alex shifted to peer up at Aura, a quizzical look on her face.

 

"He forbade me. And, the last thing he should have done was that. I was going to go through with it. But then, Flora showed up on my doorstep with an offer of her own. It was an opportunity and I grabbed it. And understandably, Spike feels like I didn't put him first. He's right. I put the kids first, but by doing that, I did it for him, too." Aura trailed off, then chuckled. "If I had become an Auror, I would have been home every night almost. Our marriage would have been so different. Did I make a mistake going to Hogwarts, Quack? It feels like he resents me for it."

 

“No, Aura,” came the reply, quick, smooth and very easily. “He doesn’t resent you. I promise. You switching over to Hogwarts hasn’t been easy on either of you, but he understands why you’re doing it, and he appreciates it. He’s happy in the knowledge that there was someone at the castle to watch the kids. Unless they are professors, no other parent gets that opportunity.”

 

“I guess.” She paused. “And there is something to be said for coming home to my husband after two weeks of being away,” she lightly added, mind drifting to the times when she… basically didn’t have to seduce her husband at all.

 

“More than I needed to know,” Alex muttered, but when Aurora giggled, she smiled.

 

"I can't help thinking that this seems like my last confession."

 

“Do you want to go to the church?”

 

Aurora shook her head. She wasn’t a religious person, but there had been times when she sought out some spiritual advice for one reason or another. Today, one might think she would, but she couldn’t bring herself to actually go down there, seek out the padre. She already felt so distant from humanity, anchored only by the arms currently wrapped around her and the idea of the rest of her family waiting for her at home.

 

“Hey,” Aura murmured, nudging Alex to sit up. Aura shifted off the couch and sat on the table again, eye to eye with her cousin. “ _You_ have given me so much, Quack. So, so much, and I am a better person for knowing you.” Alex looked as though she was about to protest, and a modest blush creeped up. “No, just… shut up for a minute, okay? Look, you’re my sister. You mean the world to me. I just want to make sure you know that. No confusion,” she added with a grin.

 

She took Alex’s hand and looked at the bracelet on her wrist, which still had some random message on it about a meeting at Puddifoot’s from a few days ago. Aura pulled out her wand and pointed it at the bracelet watching the letters change from one message to another. She could feel her own bracelet heating up with the change. Another wave of her wand, and the protean charm on the bracelets was broken.

 

Alex gasped, ready to argue. The tie between them had been cut, much too soon for Alex’s liking, but before she could put words to her feelings, Aura squeezed her hand. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.”

 

Alex looked down at the bracelet, curiosity getting the better of her.

 

_I love you. Know that I am here for you. Always._

 

 _“_ God, Squirt.”

 

Aurora slipped her own bracelet off, her own heart breaking at the look on Alex’s face as she did so. She held it up between them and deftly closed Alex’s fingers around it. “Squirt, why are you doing this?”

 

“I’m not doing this to hurt you,” she responded. “I need another favor from you. Give this to AJ... when you think she’s mature enough not to lose it?” she chuckled.

 

Alex swallowed the lump in her throat. “I… I will.” She looked down at the bracelet. There was a finality to the gesture.

 

“Thank you. Okay, it’s time for round three. I can’t put this off anymore. I need to tell mum, and I know mum will want to come home with me. Listen… come over later.” The healer consulted her watch. “If Aunt Kathryn and everyone  wants to come… it’d be nice to see everyone before…. we can have dinner… say around… seven?”

 

“I think everyone would like that.”

 

“I’m sorry I’m putting this on you… I just…”

 

“I know. Squirt….” Alex’s voice went from saddened to concerned in the matter of seconds and she quickly produced a handkerchief. She leaned forward and pressed it to Aura’s nose, soaking up the blood that had started to drip down.

 

Aura took over her hold on the white material and put some distance between them. “Fuck,” she cursed loudly. Putting aside the light headedness, she turned away from Alex, dabbing the blood away. “I’m sorry, Quack. You weren’t supposed to see this.”

 

She had soaked up the blood, and simply stood there. Aura felt… humiliated. This was torture, showing her weakness in front of her best friend, her family. “Let’s just get this over with. This cloud has been hanging over me long enough.”


	10. Chapter 10

Though Alex detested apparition, she didn't complain. Either she was getting used to it, or she was sparing Aurora the trivial things that Alex tended to think about in a negative way. And, she just didn't want to be told to 'suck it up', as Aura had a habit of doing.

 

They arrived at Sarah's house - the very same house Aurora had grown up in. All her childhood memories were here, and on some level, Aurora questioned why Sarah stayed after the passing of her husband. They didn't see the 'For Sale' sign on the lawn when Alex tapped the door.

 

A man opened the door. He was handsome in a rugged sort of way. "Aurora!" he exclaimed, stepping aside to let her and Alex in.

 

"Hello, Jim," Aura forced a smile. No matter how happy Aurora was that her mother had found someone, this man irked her. He was probably perfectly nice, but there was something she couldn't quite put her finger on. He was a wizard, like Sarah, but Sarah preferred the life of a muggle, rarely resorting to magic. It was the reason she married Aura's father, a muggle. But Jim didn't seem like the kind of wizard readily willing to give up magic. In fact, he seemed to be doing a hell of a job convincing Sarah to give up mugglehood and come back to the wizarding world.

 

She stepped into the living room where Sarah was watching television. With a press of a button, the TV was off, and Sarah was enveloping her daughter in a firm hug. "Hi, mum."

 

"Oh hello, darling! You just missed Spike. He picked up the kids. I thought he was going into work today? "

 

"He stayed home today. Were the kids good?"

 

"The best. They're always good for their grandmother. You know... you have remarkable timing, actually." Aurora quirked an eyebrow. "I was going to call you later and see about going out for a bite to eat, so I can share some news with you."

 

Aurora chanced a glance at Alex. _Crap._ "Oh?"

 

"But since you're both here, might as well kill two birds with one stone." Sarah presented her left hand to the who women as Jim moved to stand behind her. Aurora's eyes drifted to the diamond on her finger. Her heart clenched for all the wrong reasons. She was breathless and her eyes began to sting. "Look Jim, she's welling up."

 

Aura stepped back, almost into Alex. She felt like she was having a panic attack. Part of her screamed to be happy for Sarah. The other part, the part that had control, was telling her to abandon ship. "I can't do this," she declared. Her eyes begged Alex to get her out of there. She couldn't burst her mother's bubble. Not now.

 

There was hurt in Sarah's eyes as she watched her daughter back away from her. Naturally, she misunderstood, and took Aura's behavior as disapproval of the engagement. In all honesty, she knew Aura's opinion of Jim wasn't the most welcoming, but she was grateful Aura had been civil without being asked. No matter how many years had passed, it was hard to see her mother moving on with another man. Sarah had once sworn up and down that she would never remarry. She would never take off the wedding ring Jonathan had given her. But the last few years, that ring had been seen less and less.

 

Aura could not blame her mother either. How could she? So, civility was the best she could offer.

 

"Aura?" Sarah questioned, stepping closer, but Alex cut her off.

 

"Congratulations, Aunt Sarah." Alex wrapped her arms around her aunt in the hopes that would give Aura some time to recover, but it didn't. The hug broke and Sarah looked at her daughter in disappointment. Clearly she had expected Aurora’s support, but it didn’t seem to be forthcoming.

 

“Thank you, sweetie,” Sarah replied distractedly. “Aura?”

 

“Give her a moment,” Alex continued to distract Sarah by looking at the diamond ring on her finger. “This is gorgeous.”

 

“This is ridiculous. Aurora, do you not like Jim?”

 

Aurora turned to face her mother, surprised by her blunt question. “I never said that. I barely know him, mum. I’m sure he’s perfectly fine, and if he makes you happy, then who am I to say anything, really? I'd like to get to know him, but right know, that's not high on my list of priorities.” Oops. She didn’t mean it like that. This was too much, and the weight was crushing her so thoroughly.

 

“Uh, you do know I am still in the room?” Jim raised an eyebrow.

 

Aura couldn’t help it. She pointedly ignored the man. “I need to talk to you… _alone.”_

 

 _"_ Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of Jim," Sarah informed Aurora.

 

"God, mum, I don't have time for this."

 

"Uh, Aunt Sarah," Alex spoke up, "we both would like to talk to you alone.." She turned to face Jim. "Sorry."

 

"Hey, don't worry about it," Jim replied with a shrug. It was almost as though he knew this would be a hurdle he needed to overcome. He pecked his fiance on the cheek. "I'll see you at dinner."

 

Sarah smiled apologetically to him, and he disapparated. Then, she glared in Aurora's direction. "That was rude."

 

"And yet, it's the truth. I have other things on my mind than him. I’m sorry it came out _that_ way. He seems nice. I don't have a problem with him, mum. This has nothing to do with him. I'm sorry. It's just... Timing." Aura inhaled deeply, resisting the urge to cough when she exhaled. It was getting harder for her to breathe, like there was a weight pressing down on her chest. She stepped forward, hands seeking her mothers. She peered at the ring. “It is beautiful, mum. Does he make you happy?”

 

Sarah’s face softened. “Yes, he does.” Aurora nodded her head, and looked down. There was some comfort to be had with those words. She’d be okay, and she had a man at her side to help her.

 

“Aunt Sarah, you might want to sit down for this,” Alex urged. She rubbed Aura’s back soothingly, silently telling her that it was okay. Her momentary lapse in etiquette was okay, and in a few minutes, Sarah would understand, too.

 

“What’s going on?” the eldest of the three asked as she parked herself on the edge of the couch. “You look as though someone di-”

 

Aurora cut her off. “Mum! Just…” _Stop,_ hung in the air. Aura knelt before her mother and this time held her hands for a different reason. Support that Sarah didn’t even know she was giving. Aurora bit her bottom lip as Alex took a seat in a cushy chair. "Mum... Did you read the Prophet this morning?"

 

Sarah shook her head. "I had a bit of a late start this morning. I was barely ready for when Spike dropped the kids off a few hours ago. Why, what's going on?"

 

Aurora didn't answer right away, and Sarah turned her gaze to Alex.

 

"There was an accident at the hospital this morning," Alex supplied, her voice just barely steady enough.

 

"Mum, several healers and patients were exposed to a highly toxic gas, created from a mixture of potions in the research ward. The two researchers are already dead, and the rest - it's just a matter of time."

 

"Aura.... Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Sarah squeezed Aura's hands, her lip quivering as she tried to restrain the tears that threatened.

 

"Yeah... mum." She grunted after being pulled so forcefully into her mother's embrace. "I'm sorry."


	11. Chapter 11

It was a short while later when Aurora felt she needed to leave. It killed her to do so, but every second spent with Alex or her mother was a second she was missing out with her children. "Seven-ish, okay?" she reminded the women of the spur of the moment dinner to be had at the VonHaus residence.

 

Aura disapparated and arrived at her home. She hastily wiped at her eyes, red from all the tears she had shed in such a short amount of time. She felt cried out. She felt exhausted, but this could be attributed to the poison running through her veins. She entered the house, and Spike descended upon her like a man starved. Back pressed against the door, she kissed him back with equal passion. She couldn't suppress the moan as their tongues dueled and he pressed up against her, wanting to feel every inch of her, to feel that she was still alive.

 

She understood. She was there, still alive. She still had a beating heart. She was there for him - for now.

 

"Ewwww!" Edward cried as he strolled by the entryway. Neither parent cared, smiling into the kiss as a memory was created.

 

Reluctantly, their lips parted. "I'm still here," she whispered against his cheek. Her hands roamed the expanse of his chest, smiling softly. This was the first time in the last couple hours that she could keep her mind in the present and not worry about the immediate future. He did that to her. He kept her grounded and made her forget, if only for a second, it was still enough. "We have to tell them," she said quietly after a moment of looking into his ocean blues.

 

"Not yet. I want you all to myself for a while longer," Spike murmured.

 

"Mmmm." She kissed him.

 

He pulled back slightly, panting. "I told my parents."

 

Aurora nodded. "My mum got engaged. Then I told her." She sighed softly. "Everyone is coming over for dinner.."

 

"What? Aura!" Company was the last thing he wanted. He just wanted to enjoy the rest of the day alone with his family, not entertaining and watching his wife from across the room as she interacted with her family, who also wanted a selfish few minutes with her. He didn't want to share this day with anyone, but he knew he had no choice.

 

"They're family, Spike. I know... I wish I had more time for just us, but this morning... We have that, okay? I love you, so much, and I love my family. This is my last chance to see them."

 

Spike nodded his head. He understood. "I'll tell my parents to come. And uncle Wolfgang."

 

He knew he had to ease her into that one. She didn't have much love for the alcoholic screwup of an uncle. "Okay," she acquiesced.

 

She pulled away from him and looked in the living room. Her kids were watching television, though Jonathan had his nose buried in a book.

 

Aurora strolled across the room to pluck the converter from AJ's lap. She switched the television off, much to the dismay of the children. "Mom!!" Jacen cried from his spot on the floor, sitting cross-legged.

 

"You can finish the movie later, guys." Aurora moved to sit down on the floor, leaning back against the couch between Edward and AJ. Spike sat on the arm of the chair Jonathan was sitting on. The young Ravenclaw closed his book and set it down on his lap.

 

Aurora flicked her eyes up to Spike. She didn't know how to start. She didn't know how to tell them she wasn't going to be in their life anymore. She would certainly promise to always be their mother. Telling Alex, Spike and her mother was infinitely easier than striking up this particular conversation.

 

"Are you looking forward to starting school next year, Jacen?" The youngest child nodded his head enthusiastically. "What house are you wishing for?"

 

"I don't know." Jacen picked at the hardwood floor with his nails. "Everyone says I'm going to be a Hufflepuff."

 

"That is a good thing," she assured. "Hufflepuff is a good house. They are all good houses, but the house itself doesn't define you. You are still your own person. C'mere."

 

Jacen scrambled off the floor and found himself sitting on Aura's lap with her arms wrapped around him. "No matter what house you end up in, I'll be proud of you."

 

"Your mum and I need to talk to you guys about something." Spike kicked down the figurative door.

 

"And it's very, very serious," Aura added. She was sure she had the undivided attention of her kids. "We've had serious conversations before, about death, and what it means to pass away. After the World Cup, you had some very interesting questions for your father and I. We answered your questions, to the best of our ability."

 

"Did someone die?" Edward asked bluntly. He looked at Aura, then at Spike, trying to get a read on their faces. He was about to be a fourth year, and could tell when things were wrong.

 

"Not yet," Aura answered, craning her neck to look at him. "See, it happens in different ways. Sometimes, it's peaceful, and people die after living a wonderfully full life when they are old and grey. Sometimes it's violent, like what happened at the world cup. Sometimes, it's an accident, and it's really no one's fault. Some people get sick, and they know before it happens that they are going to die, but they have a chance to say goodbye to their families before they move on."

 

Spike _humphed_ at that.

 

"Today, mummy got some bad news...." Aurora cleared her throat, beginning to choke up already.

 

“Your mother was in an accident at work this morning, and because of that accident, she’s… uh…” Spike swallowed the lump in his throat, and it felt like the size of a golf ball.

“Sick,” Aurora filled in the blank. “I’m sick.” The healer startled when a hand touched her forehead. She tilted her head towards AJ, who was obviously playing healer at the moment and had definitely picked up a thing or two over the years when Aurora cared for her sickly children.

“You don’t feel sick, mum,” AJ informed everyone in the room.

Aurora smiled, arm wrapping around her only daughter when AJ slid off the couch to sit on the floor next to her. “No, I don’t, sweetie,” she agreed after a moment. “But I am.”

“What’re you saying?” Jonathan asked. He knew there was a reason they were talking about death, and he didn’t like where this conversation was going. He sat up in the chair, eyes landing on on his mother as a sickening feeling twisted in his stomach.

 

Spike rested a hand on Jon’s shoulder. “What we’re saying is… that… tonight… tonight…” _Tonight._

 

 _"_ Tonight, we're going to have the family over for company, and we're going to all have dinner, and be happy."

 

"Are you dying?" AJ asked, eyes locking with Aura's as the healer looked down at her.

 

She squeezed her arm tighter around her daughter’s shoulder. "Yes, but no matter what happens, you should all know that I am very, very proud of you, and you are all my little heroes. You made my life - our life," she glanced at Spike with a smile, "so much better."

 

AJ had tears in her eyes, but everyone seemed to be stunned into silence. Edward suddenly rose from the couch and stormed out of the room, his stomping feet heard all the way up the stairs.

 

"I'll get him," Spike said, heading for the stairs.

 

"But you're not sick!" Jacen challenged. "AJ said so!"

 

"Your sister isn't a healer, buddy. Maybe one day she can be, but even if she were, this sickness doesn't have a cure." Aurora looked at Jonathan. He seemed so small and fragile, and unblinking, as though if he did blink, she’d be gone in that split second. She didn’t know if it was the fact that his eyes had been so wide for a while, or if it was his emotions getting the better of him, but he had tears in his eyes, and his lip quivered.

 

Aurora was struggling to hold it in herself. She’d had several breakdowns already, and couldn’t bear to lose her self control in front of her family. Now she needed to be as strong as she could be for them.

 

The room was silent for a few moments, everyone thinking of their own independent thoughts and how _this_ was going to affect them. They might’ve been selfish thoughts, but in a time like this, how could they not be? Even Aurora had her own selfish thoughts that she couldn’t control, but she tried her best, and all things considered, she did a pretty good job today.

 

She looked up when she sensed movement at the stairs, and Edward came down the stairs, face red with anger and sadness all rolled into one. Everyone knew that Edward was the momma’s boy of the clan. Aura scooted Jacen slightly and she rose to her feet, mindful of the limbs around her. She didn’t want to step on a leg or two. She stepped around the coffee table, eyes never leaving Edward.

 

Her heart melted when he looked up at her. She opened her arms, and he came to her willingly, arms wrapping around her tightly. He was getting taller, but still wasn’t as tall as she was, not that Aurora’s height was anything to boast about. She held onto her son, and her hand disrupted his hair. It was always a sore point with him, his hair, but he offered no complaints today.

 

Jonathan scrambled off the chair, and nearly tackled them both. More arms wrapped around her, and she realized that AJ and Jacen had joined in on the family huddle. She smiled to herself, even as salty wetness fell down her cheek. She looked up at Spike when he joined them. For now, their family was complete, but they all felt it was beginning to tear apart.

 

“I love you all, so very much,” she murmured. “Losing the people we love, it’s never easy. It’s not supposed to be, but I want you all to be happy, okay? No matter what happens, just be happy and look out for each other. You have to promise me that.”

  
They did, almost simultaneously.


	12. Chapter 12

It was 6:45pm when the door bell rang, which was convenient, as the movie credits were rolling. Deew was busy in the kitchen, having insisted he make dinner for everyone. It was a big task to undertake, but the little house elf didn't care and was only too happy to do it.

 

Aurora wandered to the door and opened it, making a point to look at her watch, and then up at her cousin. “You said seven-ish. This was the best I could do.” There was a line of people behind her, and the healer almost broke down laughing at how ridiculous this all seemed, and yet with her very clear future looming over her, it felt very right. Alex slipped in, and Aurora greeted the rest of the family with hugs, each hug lasting longer than normal. Obviously, Alex had broken the news to them, but they were all very polite by not mentioning it - at least for now.

 

The fireplace in the living room roared to life and Edward and Gretchen stepped out from the dying green flames.

 

Kathryn was the last to come through the door, and Aurora hugged her, mindful of the dish she held in her hand. “I made your favorite,” she informed her.

 

Aurora chuckled, pulling away. “You didn’t have to -”

 

“Nonsense, child.” With that, Kathryn made her way to the kitchen, where she gave a slight start at seeing Deew working over the stove. Though Kathryn had met the elf before, the appearance of Deew always got to her.

 

Despite the circumstances, dinner was a joyous occasion, filled with stories and laughter, which was exactly what the healer ordered. The dueling platform had been turned into a lengthy table, and chairs had been conjured for everyone to be comfortable. As Aurora sat next to her husband, she looked around at everyone while they laughed, and drank, and overall were merry in the moment. Kathryn and Michael, Selina and her husband, Abigail and her husband, the triplets (whose names escape me), Alexandria and Creylen, but their rugrats were with the nanny, Spike’s parents, Aura’s mother and of course, Aura and Spike’s own children; it was a wonderful thing to be gathered together.

 

“Well, I remember when Aurora first started learning ballet,” Kathryn said loudly.

 

Aurora’s head snapped up and she looked down the table at her aunt. “Oh here we go,” she muttered and buried her face in Spike’s shoulder.

 

“Yeah, she couldn’t even do an arabesque. She kept falling over,” Alex added, raising her glass with a smirk.

 

“You were pretty graceless yourself, young lady,” Kathryn teasingly scolded her daughter, making Aura bark a laugh.

 

“Yeah, and Aunt Kathryn has the videos to prove it,” Aura chuckled. “I think we should watch one.”

 

More stories floated around the table, and not many of them portrayed Aura in a flattering light. Okay, she was a klutz growing up! She got it!

 

Aura cleared her throat and gathered her plate up, which still had the majority of her meal on it. She headed back inside through the back door, and set her plate down on the island counter in the kitchen. She wasn’t at all surprised to find that Alex had followed her, also carrying her own plate which was almost empty. “Not hungry, Squirt?”

 

Aurora shook her head.

 

“When was the last time you ate?”

 

“Probably dinner last night,” came the soft response. She shrugged her shoulders as though it wasn’t a big deal. “I just don’t have an appetite right now. _Don’t_ … Don’t make a big deal over it, okay?” She reached for Alex’s plate and busied herself in the kitchen, cleaning up the mess. She could feel Alex’s eyes on her the entire time. She might not be making a big deal over it verbally, but she was doing a hell of a job internalizing it.

 

Aura dried her hands with a dish towel and leaned against the island counter. “What?” she asked suddenly, unable to take Alex’s stare.

 

“Sorry. Just can’t help it.”

 

“Yeah, you and everyone else, apparently.” Through all the storytelling, Aurora had noticed the many glances tossed her way, and she knew what they were all thinking, because on a level, she was thinking the exact same thing.

 

Her brow furrowed suddenly, and her grip along the edge of the counter tightened. Pain coiled in her abdomen, and she hunched forward. The island was the only thing keeping her from falling, and she held onto it with a white knuckled grip. Her breathing came in sharp gasps, accompanied by several moans.

 

Alex rounded the counter, but Aura couldn’t hear a word she was saying. A wave of dizziness and lightheadedness washed over her. She couldn’t make sense of what was up or down, and the soothing circles Alex’s hand was making on her back felt like she was being stabbed by thousands of needles all at once. A nearby glass shattered on the counter. “ _... breathe… breathe through it.”_ That was definitely Alex’s voice.

 

The healer tried. “Help me down…” A hand reluctantly released the counter and grabbed for Alex, finding purchase on her shirt. The room spun and Alex lowered her to the floor.

 

“Squirt… what can I do?”

 

Before Aurora could muster some sort of response, another voice could be heard. “What happened?” Spike asked from the other side of the room.

 

Alex looked down at Aura and understood the slight shake of her head. _Lie for me._ She popped up from behind the counter. “Sorry! Sorry! I just broke a glass. Um… my bad.”

 

“Oh!” Spike let out a sigh of relief. “Don’t let Aura see that. It’s her favorite glass.”

 

Forcing a smile, Alex quickly repaired the glass and set it back down on the counter. “She won’t even know it happened.”

 

“Speaking of which, where is she?”

 

“Washroom.”

 

“Ah.”

 

“I’m just getting dessert ready. Be out in a minute.” The whole time she was talking, all she wanted was for Spike to turn around and leave. She was aware of Aura writhing slightly on the floor, struggling to stay silently.

 

When Spike smiled and left, she whispered a quick, ‘Thank God’ and knelt down next to her cousin. “You should be in the hospital, Squirt.”

 

“Ugh, no. It’s going away. I’m alright.”

 

Shaking her head, Alex went and grabbed a couple of dish towels, and drenched one in water. “No you’re not. You’re dying.” She placed the wet towel on Aura’s forehead, and used the other to dab at the blood oozing from her nose. Aura sat up. “Careful, careful.”

 

“Thank you… for Spike, and I’m sorry for you. I was hoping no one would see me like this.” She gave a self deprecating laugh.

 

“Why? Because you need to be strong all the time? No one else is allowed to see you in a moment of weakness? When are you going to realize that you’re not invincible, Squirt?”

 

Aura rolled her eyes. “Do I look like someone who thinks they are invincible right now?” she shot back. “I’ve known for years that I am not invincible. Since the day you blinded me, in fact; since I was tortured by Death Eaters until I could barely say my own name. So, just _save it_ , because… please, I just don’t need this right now. I have enough guilt… for putting everyone through this. I don’t want to add to that. So, I have to be strong. That’s just what I have to do. It’s how I want them to remember me. Not this.”

 

“You can’t hide this from them,” Alex said softly after a moment. “They’re going to be at the hospital with you. We all are.”

 

Aurora closed her eyes and leaned her shoulder against the counter. She shook her head. “No. None of you are going to be there.”

 

“You know we’re not going to let you go through this alone, right?”

 

Aura opened her eyes. “I know you don’t want me to, and I don’t want to... but this isn’t even about that.” She sighed. “It’d be too dangerous. My magic is already flaring. Thanks for fixing my favorite glass, by the way.”

 

“Squirt, I just lied for you. I need some honesty from you now.”

 

“I’ve sent in a request to be euthanized,” she blurted out suddenly. How was that for honesty? She wished she could take it back, just like she wished she could make the look of shock disappear from Alex’s face. “I’m sorry. You must think I’m a coward.”

 

“I don’t know what to think, Aura. You’re not giving me the whole picture.”

 

Conflicted, the healer looked away. “These… episodes are going to get worse over time. They’ll increase in frequency and intensity, and before it’s over, I won’t even remember who you are. I won’t be able to control my magic, which means I could be very destructive to the people around me. One by one, my organs will fail, and it will be the most painful way to die, and no numbing charm would be powerful enough to spare me from that. You wanted the truth - do you feel better now?”

 

There was no answer to that question. None. Of course Alex didn’t feel better, and she was struggling to keep her emotions in check. “Trust me, Quack… _Alex_ , the killing curse is a peaceful way to die.”

 

“But what happens if they…. and they find a cure?”

 

“In a couple of hours, that won’t matter. There is a point of no return. If they haven’t found a cure by now…” Aura shrugged. “You guys will be okay.”

 

“I don’t think you’re a coward. I could never think that. And… if… if these are your options…. I understand.”

 

“Help me up.”

 

Alex rose, and hauled Aura to her feet, steadying her. “You okay?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“C’mere.” Alex held up the damp towel and dabbed at Aura’s nose, removing the last traces of blood. “Picture perfect.”

 

“Thanks.” Alex vanished the towels, and together, they brought the dessert out to the rest of the family.


	13. Chapter 13

The rest of dinner went off without a hitch, until Kathryn looked up at the attic window. “There is something moving in your attic,” she blurted out, and everyone turned to look.

 

Aurora laughed it off. “It’s just a ghost.”

 

“No, that’s Deew!” AJ said, beaming.

 

“Well, he can just... stay up there,” Kathryn grumbled to herself. She made no secret of the fact that she didn’t like the house elf. She felt he intruded on her territory. She was the hostess, and the kitchen was her territory.

 

Aurora hid her smile behind her glass. Though she disagreed with Kathryn on every level, it was still amusing to see how the woman reacted around Deew. The house elf was family. Never before had she thought she could handle having a house elf. She didn’t like the idea of having a servant. It took her a long time to accept that Deew liked it, and he was free to leave at any time. “I wish you’d give Deew a chance, Aunt Kathryn. It’s only been almost 15 years now,” she chuckled. “Even Alex has one in her family. House elves are fiercely loyal. And Deew is family.”

 

Kathryn thought for a moment, swirling the wine in her glass. “Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.”

 

“Deew actually saved Spike’s life once on one of his business trips to the arctic…”

 

Spike looked at his glass of wine forlornly, completely oblivious to the direction the conversation had taken. His mind had drifted to other avenues. “Come back.” All eyes landed on Spike, and he looked up at Aurora. “There are ways you could come back.” The second he said it, Aurora knew exactly what he was getting at. Her heart skipped beats at the thought.

 

Alex was mid-sip when she looked at Aura. She understood what Spike was getting at, and as the thought raced through her mind, she couldn’t help but want the same thing. If missing Aurora meant not seeing her ever again, then she would rather have Aura stay in their lives in some shape, way, or form. There was the small shred of hope.

 

Then, she remembered. _Joe._ One of her best friends at Hogwarts whose life was cut tragically short. He had come back at a ghost, and despite the fact that it was _him_ , and he had all the memories and experiences of the real person, it wasn’t the same. It could never be the same. And simply existing for eternity, was it really worth it when the reasons you chose to come back as a ghost were long gone?

 

She had gotten lost in her thoughts for a moment, but seeing the look on Aura’s face sobered her and she set the glass down on the table as the whole family settled down into an awkward silence.

 

“Spike… you can’t… Do you have any idea what you’re asking of me?” Aura asked. Spike looked desperate, and her breath caught. She leaned closer to him, and spoke so only he could hear. “This is hardly the time or place to have this conversation.” Surrounded by their family, she knew now that the seed had been planted, though, and her family was going to hope for something she couldn’t, and wouldn’t give them.

 

“I don’t understand. If there’s a way, why aren’t you doing it?” Kathryn asked. Being a muggle, she didn’t understand magical implications, or to what they were even referring. All that mattered was that there seemed to be a way for Aurora to be around.  

 

“Mum!” Alex called, shaking her head, willing the woman to shut up.

 

“I’m not going to be a ghost in your attic, Spike,” Aura said firmly, and yet quiet enough for everyone to have to strain to be able to hear her. She hoped that would put this ‘discussion’ to bed.

 

Spike had other ideas. “We don’t want to lose you. _I_ don’t want to lose you. This way, you can still be in our lives. You’ll be here for holidays, and birthdays.” He’d get down on his knees if he thought it’d make a difference.

 

“God, Spike, I can’t believe you’re serious right now. That’s not a solution. Are you even thinking about what that would mean for _me_?” Of course he wasn’t. He was thinking about himself and ways to bypass his own grief. She couldn’t blame him for that. She remembered what a wreck her own mother was when her husband passed away, and it killed her to have to put Spike through it, too. “That wouldn’t be me! Babe, listen to me…” Aurora shifted closer to him in her chair and took his hand in her own. “I would love nothing more than to be able to be here and continue living with you all. I ache knowing what I am going to miss. Not just birthdays and holidays, but weddings and grandchildren, and the everyday magic of life.

 

“But you can’t ask this of me. A _ghost_? Merely a shadow of my former self? And what happens when your time comes? And everyone else’s? I would be left here, alone.”

 

“I’ll be a ghost with you,” he whispered.

 

She squeezed his hand. “You can’t promise me that. You can’t promise yourself that, either. Neither of us know what would happen 30, or 60 years down the line. That’s not peace.”

 

“Please, don’t leave me.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“I’m sorry, too,” he replied, but she got the distinct impression that he was sorry for a completely different reason.

 

After a moment, Spike got up and went back into the house. Aura twisted in her seat to watch him go. Her teeth played with a fingernail as guilt washed over her. When her husband disappeared through the doors, she leaned back in her chair, misery painted all over her face. The awkwardness of the situation didn’t even phase her as her mind wandered. Somehow, she felt this circled back to the old argument of not putting her husband first. “Shit.”

 

Aura inhaled deeply and was vaguely aware of the eyes on her, and the eyes that had shifted away from her at the same time. This was not how she had anticipated dinner unfolding. She glanced at Alex, not surprised to find her cousin looking back at her. The healer couldn’t help but wonder if that was pity in her eyes or not. She looked away from everyone, eyes focused on the Quidditch hoops as her mind tried to play catch-up. _Shit, shit, shit,_ she kept thinking.


	14. Chapter 14

“We should go,” Alex said softly to Creylen, and she looked around the table at everyone else. “We should probably all go.”

 

“But -” Kathryn started.

 

“I think Aura would like to spend time with her family, mum,” Alex said, sounding very much like the mother she was, it was just odd that it was to her own mother. She rose from her chair, and even though muggles were present, she pulled out her wand and whisked away the mess. She adjusted her shirt as a way to occupy her hands and thoughts for a moment. When she looked up at her cousin again, she could see the heavy emotional weight that had settled upon her shoulders, but when Gailie went to say her goodbyes, she knew the smile on Aura’s face was forced.

 

She squeezed Creylen’s arm before moving past him. Before she got to Aura, though, she looked back at the kids, standing and watching and overall powerless to do anything as they all were. She wandered to them as Kathryn refused to let Aura go from their hug. “Hey,” she said to them, hand brushing Jacen’s hair back.

 

“Aunt Alex,” Edward spoke up, his eyes red. “Please tell me it’s a joke.” _Merlin_ , she wished she could. She was surprised when Edward crashed into her, arms wrapped fiercely around her. She returned the embrace and he sobbed, knowing it wasn’t a joke. “Because whatever I did, I’m sorry.”

 

“Hey, no… _no._ Honey, this isn’t your fault. It was just an accident.” As the words came from her mouth, Alex couldn’t understand how they were formed so calmly. “You mum needs you to be strong for her tonight. All of you.”

 

“Can you fix her?” AJ asked from her place at Alex’s elbow.

 

She wrapped an arm around AJ, too. “I wish, more than anything that I could, but no one can.”

 

Alex hugged all of them with promises that she would be there with them tomorrow before ushering them into the house after everyone else. She wasn’t surprised when they headed for the stairs to their individual bedrooms - their safe havens where the outside world fell away into nothing and their fantasies could be real with moving wallpapers and souvenirs from their trips around the world.

 

She sighed to herself and headed for the front door where everyone was making their exit. She stopped just short, watching as her blue haired husband spoke with Aura. She heard Creylen murmur a soft, ‘I promise’, before they hugged and said goodbye. Alex didn’t need three guesses to know what Aura had asked of him.

 

Creylen waited outside and Alex stepped up, last but certainly not least.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

Aurora turned to Alex with a half smile. “What time do you need to be at the hospital tomorrow?” Alex inquired.

 

The healer debated answering, then merely shook her head. She pulled Alex in for a long hug, determined not to have anyone at the hospital with her. Nothing more needed to be said between them. Aura had managed to hold in her tears through everyone else, though they had threatened her the entire time, but now they spilled as she held to Alex for the last time. When Alex shuddered, it was clear she was crying, too.

 

No one could say for sure how much time had passed before Aura pulled back enough to press a kiss to Alex’s forehead before connecting their foreheads together. She took a deep breath, reigning in her emotions. “Thank you,” she whispered, and it was with such conviction. “You’ve saved my life many times over, Quack, and made me realize that I had a life worth living when I was falling apart. I am who I am because of _you_.” That was perhaps the  most heartfelt thing she could express. She owed everything to Alex. “I love you, Alex.”

 

“I love you, too, Aura.” Alex struggled with those five words. She wrapped her arms around Aurora again, unable to control her tears.

 

She indulged in a couple more minutes before waving Creylen over. He had been so patient and understanding. His arms came to Alex’s shoulders, coaxing her away and reluctantly Alex relinquished her hold on Aura’s shirt. He guided her towards the car waiting in the driveway, Kathryn and Michael sitting in the front seats. Aura stepped outside and watched. Creylen opened the backseat door and before Alex got in, she looked up at Aura, memorizing her all over again.

 

Aura smiled, and waved. _Goodbye._

 

The car pulled away, a few others, too, carrying the rest of the family back to Kathryn and Mike’s, presumably.

 

She turned and stepped back into the house and closed the door ever so slowly, that chapter of her life over. She couldn’t believe it. She pressed her head against the door, pushing on it slightly with her hands while she tried to get a grip on her reality.

 

She gasped suddenly, and she tensed. Alone in the entryway, she groaned against the door as pain coursed through her. She breathed heavily, trying to keep it quiet and to keep her magic in check. She wasn’t at all surprised at the taste of blood in her mouth.


	15. Chapter 15

It took her a few minutes to get herself under control again before she went in search of Spike. She found him in the library on the second level, sitting in one of the comfortable chairs in the corner. He was lost in thought and didn’t see her looking up at him from the lower level. Aurora went up the spiral staircase and approached him with a little caution. He had a glass of scotch (the good stuff) in his hand, resting on the arm of the chair, and she had a vividly clear image of what his future looked like.

 

Caution thrown to the wind, she marched over and took it away from him. She set it down out of reach before taking to her knees before him. Whatever shock was on his face disappeared when she took his hands in her own. “That’s not the answer, either,” was all she said. Their kids were just a few doors down. They were going to need him.

 

“Don’t begrudge me my coping mechanisms,” he replied.

 

“The kids.”

 

“It was just one drink.”

 

She sighed, because he was right. She shouldn’t begrudge him his coping mechanisms, and as long as it was just one drink… Her hand deftly started to push his hair back while she studied his face. “Please understand,” she started. She needed to fix this. She needed to heal what was wrong between them before she couldn’t, and she was ever so grateful to Alex for dismissing the entire family for her. “None of us would be happy if I came back as a ghost. I want you to be able to move on with your life. Find happiness again.”

 

“I don’t want to move on.”

 

“You say that now, but in five… ten… fifteen years from now, when I can’t touch you, feel you, show you how much I _love_ you…” she let the thought trail, finding it painful to even think about. “Ghosts have no progression,” she whispered. “Whatever feelings I… _die_ with, they’ll never evolve, and they’ll just be phantom feelings; a copy of my own. I could never be happy as a ghost, and you would never be happy with me as a ghost, either. I’d be here, and yet not here.”

 

“I just don’t want you to leave me,” Spike whispered.

 

“I don’t want to leave you, either,” she whispered back. “I don’t have a choice.”

 

“I love you, so much, Aurora.” He leaned forward, lips claiming hers. Her fingers grazed his cheek as passion flowed between them. There was a _goodbye_ in this kiss, an acceptance of sorts.

 

“My love for you is endless,” she murmured. His eyes were captivated by her lips, watching her speak the words he loved hearing, and needed to hear now more than ever. Aura reached behind her for the glass of scotch whilst she held his attention. She pressed the glass into his hand. “It will be okay.”

 

She stood up. “I’m going to look in on the kids…” At the stairs, she turned back to him. “You don’t know how much I truly, truly love you.” With that, Aurora headed back down the stairs. When she reached the bottom, she heard the small crashing of Spike’s glass on the floor, and tears welled up in her eyes as she pulled a tiny empty vial out of her pocket and needlessly corked it.

 

Tomorrow, Spike would wake up, well rested from a dreamless sleep, and he would undoubtedly hate her, but it was just easier this way.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------

 

The fact that she had drugged her husband didn’t sit well with Aura, nor was the fact that she was about to do the same thing to her kids, but she had convinced herself that it would be easier this way. Tonight, she would give them peace; it was the least she could do.

 

She went to the kitchen and poured five glasses of juice, four were complete with a dreamless sleep potion. She set them on a tray before heading up the stairs with it levitating in front of her. She set it down on an end table in her bedroom, then went to round up the children.

 

“Where’s dad?” Jonathan asked, perching on the edge of the king sized bed in the master bedroom.

 

“Uh… he’s having a nap. It’s been a hard day for all of us,” she informed them and cleared her throat.

 

“I can wake him,” AJ offered.

 

Aura shook her head gently, a small smile on her face. “No, sweetie. Let him sleep. Besides, I want a few minutes with you. Just us.” That seemed innocent enough, right? She situated herself in the bed, propped up against the pillows in the middle. Comfortable, she crossed one leg over the other and pressed a kiss to the crown of Jacen’s head when he curled up next to her. She wrapped an arm around him, and simply let the moment be. She was holding her son, she focused on that and that was enough for now.

 

“What’s going to happen, mum?” Jonathan asked, twisting to face her.

 

“Well,” she murmured and looked at the clock on the nightstand. “It’s almost ten thirty now. Just about bedtime, I think.” They started to protest and Aurora held up her hand to silence them. “It’s okay, guys. I understand.” She wrapped her other arm around AJ when she nudged into her, and pressed a kiss to her forehead, too.

 

“I don’t want you to leave, mum,” AJ said, hands clutching Aura’s shirt, as if that would keep her there.

 

“For what it’s worth, I’m so, so sorry. You all mean so much to me. You made your father and I complete. I love each of you, so much, and you all need to look out for each other now, because I won’t be here to do it for you. You need to be safe, and remember what we’ve been teaching you.” To be constantly vigilant in everything they did through life. They had seen what evil looked like - though they were much too young - but evil didn’t always look like that. Sometimes it was subtle, and it was their responsibility to know the difference.

 

Her eyes flicked up to Edward. “The difference between right and wrong.” She leaned into AJ. “What lines not to cross,” she added with a wry grin. She looked towards Jonathan. “The importance of having fun.” Then she leaned towards Jacen. “And taking responsibility for one’s own mistakes.”

A long moment passed between all of them. She kept thinking that this was much too soon. “Oh, you guys,” she whispered. They were so precious. “I’m going to tell you something... I lost my dad when I was around your age, and it hurt for a really long time. It still hurts, even today, when I think about him, but I know he’s with me, everywhere I go, looking out for me, reminding me of those same lessons I’ve taught you. When I think about whether I’m doing the right thing or not, I think about him. I ask myself, what would he do?”

 

She hesitated for a second as Edward and Jonathan got more comfortable at the foot of the bed. “I never had a chance to say goodbye and tell him how much I love him. I was sad, I was hurt, and I was angry… and I want you to know that it’s okay to feel these things. All I can ask of you is that you don’t bottle it up because it will only hurt you more in the long run. Talk to your father. Talk to Aunt Alex, even; she can help you, just like she helped me. Okay?”

 

She received acknowledging nods and smiled. She reached over and picked up her glass and dispersed the rest amongst the kids. “Remember one thing, guys. Be happy. I just want you to be safe, and to be happy. And _behave_ yourselves.” She growled the last part teasingly and nudged AJ. “You’re going to be the woman of the house now. Don’t let your Aunt Alex be a bad influence on you.” She chuckled and raised her glass, her expression turning serious again. “No matter where you are, if I am in your heart, I will always be with you.” Several clinks filled the room and over the rim of her glass, she watched as they drank.

 

Jacen’s eyes were the first to become droopy. She grabbed his glass and set it down. She reached for Edward and Jonathan’s, too. “Mum?” AJ breathed. “I feel…”

 

“I know, honey. It will be okay. One day, you’ll understand,” Aura promised, taking the glass from her hand and holding her close as blissful unconsciousness took hold of her. She set down AJ’s glass and lay there with them, her own heart shattering into pieces.

 

She didn’t move for an hour, content to just listen to their shallow breathing. But, time was ticking. Every passing second was killing her. She reluctantly detangled herself from Jacen and AJ, and with a wave of her wand, situated Edward and Jonathan next to them. She pulled the covers over them, kissed each of them and stepped back to admire their perfect faces.

  


Aura swallowed the lump in her throat and moved to the other end of the room. “Strawberries,” she said to the corner, and a portion of the wall vanished into thin air, revealing a pensieve. She spent a short time adding new memories to tiny vials and storing them.

 

She wrote a few more letters, ensured Spike was more comfortable in his chair and wrapped a throw around him. She spent several minutes carding her fingers through his hair, studying his face and the slight stubble he had. She loved when he had a stubble, finding it incredibly sexy.

 

No matter how much she did, it felt like it wasn’t enough. She was relinquishing control, a concept that was completely foreign to her. She stood at the bottom of the stairs as the grandfather clock struck 3am. She looked around the living room, her home, her sanctuary. Sighing, and with one last, longing look up the stairs, she opened the front door and closed it behind her, leaving behind five vials, each labeled with a name on it and a good memory within it, resting on the coffee table.


	16. Chapter 16

First, she went to her fathers grave. Visitors weren’t allowed in the graveyard past sunset, but being a witch, there were certain rules that were easily ignored from time to time. She sat in front of his tombstone for a while, fingers tracing over the engraved stone, spelling out his name over and over again while she lost herself to her memories of him. She prayed for his guidance, to help her see the light at the end of the tunnel, and to keep her away from hinkypunks. She needed him now, more than ever.

 

It was when she felt a tremor that she knew it was time to go. She reached for her wand, struggled to wrap her hand around the hilt. She held fast to the tombstone, and it cracked. Despite the pain, that was what made her gasp. “No…” she whimpered. Her fingers finally curled around her wand, for all the good it would do her. She fell over, lying on her side, forgetting how to breathe. She was going to die at her father’s grave, which as the thought crossed her mind, she realized wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

If you asked her, she wouldn’t be able to tell you how she did it. One second, she was looking at the crack through her father’s tombstone, and the next, she was blinded by the bright lights of the ceiling above her. Aura turned her head away from them, letting her eyes adjust to her surroundings. She was in a familiar corridor, on the floor. She could hear voices, but they seemed so distant. Every part of her ached and was unwilling to move.

 

She was aware of people, gathering around her. Fingers at her neck, taking her thready pulse. Hands parting her eyelids to check for dilation, but once again the light was too bright and she pulled away. She did register a hand holding her own.

 

“M’fine,” she managed, batting trained hands away. She saw Danielle hovering over her. Pleased to see a friendly face, Aura smiled, released the hand holding her own and grasped the woman’s shoulder, using her to hoist herself up to her feet. She sagged into the wall as a fresh wave of dizziness overcame her.

 

“Come on,” Danielle said, holding tightly to Aura’s arm. “We’re going to get you a room.”

 

Aurora nodded her head, and just as she found the strength to move one foot in front of the other, she looked up and saw her cousin staring back at her. She braced an arm on the wall. “Could you give us a minute?” she directed to her fellow healer.

 

“Sure,” Danielle said, excusing herself, but not very far.

 

Shaking her head disbelievingly, Aurora looked down at the floor. She should have known better. She had contingency plans for her husband and children, but she had forgotten how stubborn Alex could be. “This isn’t what I wanted.”

 

“I know, and I decided I don’t care.” When Aurora scoffed, Alex continued. “I’m not going to let you go through this alone, Aura.”

 

Aurora was moved. This woman was capable of such compassion that Aurora could never compete with. Her devotion and loyalty to family were uncontested. Now that she was at the hospital, _waiting_ for the end to come _,_ she realized that she didn’t want to go through it alone, and she was glad there was someone there to hold her hand, at least for a little while - and she was now sure it was Alex who had been holding her hand just then. “Thank you,” she said earnestly, looking up.

 

Alex stepped forward and took Aura’s free arm and draped it over her shoulder. Aura leaned heavily onto Alex as the elder witch took her to a nearby bench. Gingerly, she sat down and leaned back against the wall and breathed deeply. Her multicolored eyes slipped closed as her body relaxed for a moment. “How long have you been here?” she asked after small period of silence.

 

No answer came just then. The sound of fabric tearing filled the air and before she could open her eyes to investigate, it was pressed to her nose. “A while,” Alex finally admitted. “Few hours. Kept looking up every time the fireplaces roared to life, wondering if it was you - you know, since you wouldn’t tell me,” she teased slightly, but it could have been avoided if Aura had just told her the truth. “Merlin, when I saw you on the floor just now… I thought…”

 

Aura’s arms felt so heavy. She would have taken over staunching the bloody nose, but she just couldn’t find the energy to do so. “Squirt, where did you come from?” Alex asked, plucking a few blades of grass and leaves off her shirt.

 

“Well, you see, when a man and a woman -”

 

“Shut up!” Alex chuckled.

 

“I broke my father’s headstone,” Aura whispered. She couldn’t believe it. His grave was sacred to her, and she had disturbed it. “I didn’t mean to… I just…” she opened her eyes to the brightness of the corridor. “Please… fix it for me.”

 

“Of course. First thing tomorrow.”

 

Aurora nodded and tilted her head towards Alex. The sadness etched on her face was unbearable. “Smile.”

 

Alex didn’t think she had it in her. She pulled the cloth away and held it tightly in her hand. She pressed her lips into a tight smile, hoping that would appease Aura for a bit, but it faded just as quickly as it had appeared.

 

“Alex?”

 

“Where’s Spike and the kids?” Alex asked, hoping to distract Aura. She didn’t want to give the healer any insight into her actual thoughts, that not an hour ago, Danielle told her that three patients and two healers affected by the accident had succumbed to their conditions.

 

“Sleeping.”

 

“Really?” Alex raised an eyebrow, not quite sure she believed what she was hearing. There was no chance in Tartarus Spike would just let Aurora walk out of the house when it was this close to Zero Hour. “That’s surprising.”

 

“I gave them a sleeping potion,” Aura confessed. “Tonight, they can have peace.” She gave them that. With the heaviness in her limbs, she slumped over, her head resting on Alex’s shoulder. “Look after Spike,” she said, feeling her voice getting weaker and weaker.

 

“You know I will.” Just as she knew she was going to be dealing with a very pissed off Spike VonHaus tomorrow.

 

She nodded her head. It was a relief. A weight was being lifted from her shoulders. “You know how OCD I can be about things…”

 

“Hmm.”

 

“My pensieve…”

 

“I’ve seen it.” Indeed. Each memory had been clearly labeled with the person they were about and grouped together.  Aurora’s organizational skills were never more useful than when she was filing away her memories.

 

It dawned on Aurora now why she was putting all of this on Alex. She knew Spike would be too distraught. Alex, on the other hand, would strive to ensure her last wishes were honored - except the one where Aura wanted to be alone, obviously. Aura chuckled slightly, and it turned into a pained cough. She cleared her throat and groaned. “Make sure everyone gets the memories with their names on them?”

 

Alex could feel how her cousin was trembling against her. “Of course.”

 

“Desk drawer. Letters…” So much to say, and it was getting harder to say it.

 

“Shhh, Aura.”

 

Aura sucked in a breath, and panic coursed through her eyes. She pushed away from Alex, and moved down the corridor. She only managed a few steps before she fell to her knees. Hunched over, her mouth parted in a voiceless cry. Her whole body shook, pain coursing through her.

 

Alex got off the bench, her cousin’s name falling from her lips, and reached out.

 

“No, Alex…” Aura tried to warn her before that violent scream that had been stuck in her throat managed to escape her. She had been trying to hold it in, to be strong in the presence of her family, but it was too much.

 

Alex was so close, mere inches from placing a comforting hand on Aura’s shoulder until a sharp pain in her arm stopped her. Bones cracked, broke. Gasping at the suddenness, she was caught unawares by the invisible force emanating from Aurora, throwing her back into the corridor wall. Her head cracked against the solid surface and she slid down to the floor in a heap. She was disoriented for a moment, and cradled her arm protectively.

 

Wild hazel eyes found Aurora, wishing she could reach out and take it all away. She’d switch places in a heartbeat if she could - though in the future, as the thought would occur to her again, years down the line, she had to wonder if she really would, given she had a whole family of her own who needed her, too. It was a thought that would keep her up at night.

 

Aura had curled in on herself, and more of her agonizing screams could be heard. The bench they had been sitting on seconds earlier rose in the air and began twisting and contorting. Wood snapped, metal bent. The floor under her buckled, tiles cracking in an intricate pattern, not unlike a snowflake. The walls shook, plaster breaking free, littering the floor. Pieces of the ceiling fell down around them.

 

“Aura!” Alex called. When she looked up and saw Danielle coming forward with her wand drawn, she panicked and assumed the worst. “No, wait!” she cried, scrambling forward. Just a little more time. She was mentally begging for it. She sensed a shift in her cousin when a low groan filled the air and her body relaxed.

 

For a second, no one moved as the dust around them settled. Aura went still. Too still. “No, no, no…” Alex whispered, shuffling closer, fearing the worst had happened. She had been preparing for it all day, but she quickly discovered that there was no amount of preparing that could brace her for when it actually happened.

 

Her good hand reached out, nudged Aura’s shoulder slightly. She grit her teeth. Aura was limp. Unconscious. She rolled Aura onto her back, all emotion leaping to the back of her throat. “God…” She hastily began to wipe at the blood with her hand and sleeve. She noted her ears were bleeding, too.

 

Alex was vaguely aware of the healer checking over Aurora. “She’s still alive,” Danielle said and conjured a stretcher. Alex sat back on her heels and watched Aura being levitated onto it. The throbbing in her arm was ever present. Another medi-wizard stepped into her line of sight, distracting her from Aura’s prone form moving down the damaged corridor.

 

“Let’s get this taken care of,” the man said.

 

“No, take care of her first,” Alex demanded.

 

“There’s nothing to be done for her,” he said. “You, I can do something about.”

 

Stunned by his bluntness, Alex looked at him blankly. She had allowed herself to forget for a moment that this was all coming to an end. It was instinct, believing Aura could be saved, no matter what. “I’m not leaving her.”

 

“Well, you’re going to be waiting to see her, anyway, so, you might as well let me take care of this.” She followed him upon his insistence to a room, and gave one last look down the corridor as Aurora and Danielle disappeared around a corner.


	17. Chapter 17

A short while later, Alex emerged from the room with her arm in a sling. With bones broken by magic, the healing time was increased. It wasn’t a quick fix as it would have been if she had fallen out of a tree.

 

She looked around the corridor, and saw a maintenance worker beginning the repair work on the ceiling. Her eyes were attracted to the random pattern on the floor, and she could easily visualize Aurora lying there, and she could hear her cries - it was burned into her memory and she understood with crystal clarity why Aurora didn’t want anyone around.

 

“Alexandria?”

 

Alex turned around to see Danielle approaching her. “Where is she?” she asked, bypassing the pleasantries.

 

“We have her in an evacuated portion of the Hospital.”

 

It made sense to Alex as she mulled it over in her head, and with the destruction behind her. The hospital didn’t want anymore casualties on their hands. Still, it bothered her, and she looked beyond the healer in the direction Aura was in. She was alone down there. “I want to see her.”

 

“I know you do.” Danielle raised a hand when Alex started to move in that direction. “But, before you go in there, there’s some things we should talk about.”

 

Alex felt a sense of dread wash over her as she walked at a slow pace with Danielle. “Okay…?”

 

“She’s still unconscious. The poison in her system is wrecking havoc, and you’ll see evidence of it on her arms and her neck.”

 

“She wouldn’t give me a straight answer. Tell me what’s happening to her.”

 

“The poison is from a combination of potions that mixed and created a toxic gas.”

 

“I don’t want the story you’re feeding to the Daily Prophet,” Alex muttered.

 

“Okay. Fine.” Danielle crossed her arms. “The poison is attacking her organs. It’s slow. Painful. And eventually, would drown her in her own blood. It’s her nervous system that we’re more concerned about. Each time she breaks down like that, it gets worse. She loses control over her magic and it can be dangerous to the people around her. Case and point - _your arm_.”

 

Alex looked down at her arm. She’d had many comparative injuries in her Quidditch days, and it wasn’t the injury that bothered her. She swallowed the lump in the back of her throat. They rounded the corner and Alex stopped. The corridor before her seemed like a bomb had gone off. “Did Aura do this?” she asked hesitantly.

 

“No. The others. Listen, you should know that Aurora sent in a request to be euthanized.”

 

“She told me.”

 

“It was approved. There’s a ministry official here to be a witness. That’s him down there, Eric Jones,” the healer pointed down the corridor. “Watch your step.” Alex stepped over some debris and followed Danielle to the room. “While she’s unconscious, she’s fine, but the sooner this happens, the less she’ll suffer.”

 

Alex nodded her head slightly. “I just want to be with her for a bit.”

 

“Alright, but we shouldn’t wait too long after she wakes up, okay?” Danielle twisted the doorknob and paused. “One more thing. When she does wake up… she may, or may not remember you.”

 

Alex bit her lip, nodding her head. She slipped past Danielle, and stopped short when she saw Aurora lying on the bed. Despite the damage to the hallway outside the room, the room itself seemed pristine, or at least repaired to look like it was. She shuffled her feet forward and sat down on the edge of the bed.

 

Aura was wearing a short sleeved hospital shirt, and when Alex took hold of Aura’s hand, she noted the black veiny marks crawling up her arm. She couldn’t believe that Aura had tried to hide this from everyone, and yet, had their positions been reversed, she would have done the same thing. She sighed to herself. Aurora looked to be at peace, chest rising and falling evenly. _Alive_.

 

The blood had been cleaned off her face. She reached up to fix Aurora’s hair, finding it offensive that it wasn’t in place the way Aurora liked it. She held her breath when Aura’s eyes fluttered several times, fighting her way back to consciousness. She ran her fingers through the dark strands of hair again. “Come on, Squirt. Open your eyes.” She continued to gently coax her back to the present.

 

Alex smiled big when multicolored eyes landed on her. “There’s that smile,” Aura rasped, grinning back.

 

“Thank Merlin…” she chuckled, relieved Aura still remembered her. She would have felt far worse if Aura’s last moments on Earth were memory-less and confused. “How are you feeling?”

 

“It hurts. Everything hurts.”

 

Alex held Aura’s hand again, fingers interlaced together. “I wish I could help.”

 

“What happened… to you…” she gestured to the sling.

 

“Aura…” Alex fumbled for a lie. She was coming up empty and she desperately wanted to spare Aura the guilt she would undoubtedly feel.

 

“No. No.” Aura pulled her hand away as it dawned on her. She struggled to pull herself up in bed, and away from her cousin. “I did that to you.” Her mind was having trouble catching up, but she looked frantically for her wand. She would fix it. She would make it better. She gasped at her own movements, but ignored the pain in her quest to fix everything.

 

“Squirt, stop. Stop! Lay down.” Even one handed, Alex had more strength than Aura to push her back down on her back.

 

“Alex you need to go… get away from me.” Aura looked around helplessly, wishing there was another person in the room that she could ask to drag Alex out. “This is _why_ I didn’t want anyone here.”

 

“Hey, hey! Look at me, Aura. Look at me.” Alex waited for Aura to finally give in and look at her. She flexed the fingers of the broken arm. “See? Look, it’s already healing. It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault.” She pressed a kiss to Aura’s forehead. “It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. I promise.” Her heart was breaking at how scared Aura looked. “I’m going to be here with you the whole time.”

 

“No. Quack, you should go…”

 

“ _Aurora_.” Alex squeezed her hand. “Stop it. You don’t need to be so strong in front of me.”

 

“Ugh, I’m done fighting you.”

 

“Good, because you know I’d win.”

 

Aurora rolled her eyes at that. “Thank you, for being here. I… I thought I could… do this alone, but I… I’m glad you wouldn’t l-let me.”

 

Her labored breathing was the only sound that filled the silence between them. As Alex looked down at her, she could see her cousin was suffering. “Everything’s going to be okay,” she cooed, as if she was speaking to a child, and right now, Aurora seemed like nothing more than that to Alex. She didn’t even know if Aura was listening by the way her head lulled to the side with a grimace.

 

Alex knew she was losing her. Her hand abandoned Aura’s and ran through her hair instead. Moans drifted from Aura, breathing turned erratic and her body tensed, writhing just slightly as the pain intensified. Alex’s lip quivered as she leaned down and kissed her forehead again. Aurora was too far gone to be able to ask for the relief she needed. Though it pained her to do it, Alex stepped up. “It’s okay. It’s okay. I’ll make it better.” She needed to do it before Aurora lost control again.

 

Digging deep down, she pulled away from Aura. She rushed to the door and stepped into the corridor. A few feet away, Alex saw Danielle talking with the Ministry official. “D-Danielle… she’s… she’s suffering. You - you need to…” she gestured to the room. She couldn’t even say it. She just wanted to ease Aura’s pain. “Just… do it.” She shuddered a breath as tears fell. She had thought she had been cried out already, but apparently there was always room for a little more tears.

 

The healer brushed by her, as did the Ministry official who quickly introduced himself. “Alex, you should probably wait outside,” Danielle instructed.

 

“I promised her I wasn’t leaving her.” Alex came to the side of the bed, her hand clutching at Aura’s. The groans and whimpers filling the room pulled at her heartstrings. “Squirt, I’m right here. Come on, _look at me_. I’m right here.”

 

“You need to let go of her.”

 

Alex glanced at the healer briefly and then looked back at Aura. “Look at me, _please,_ I’m right here,” she repeated, needing to make sure Aura understood she wasn’t alone before she died. She gave one last squeeze of her hand and let Aura’s slip away. “I love you, Squirt,” she murmured, stepping back.

 

Aurora turned her head towards the sound of Alex’s voice, grabbing onto it as it grounded her. She opened her eyes, seeing her cousin crying only a few feet away. She held onto that, locked their eyes together. She understood. She was grateful. And she was sorry.

 

_Avada Kedavra!_

 

Alex didn’t even hear the incantation, but she wasn’t trying. All she could register was the flash of blinding green light. She couldn’t breathe. It happened so quickly. A strangled sob escaped her throat as she held the gaze of Aura’s lifeless eyes. No one moved for a long moment and Alex felt like she couldn’t blink, trapped in those multicolored orbs. Then Danielle stepped forward, brushing her fingers over Aura’s eyelids and closed them. When the healer moved away, Alex reached her hand tentatively forward. Part of her wanted to turn and leave, or pinch herself awake. This was too real to be a nightmare, though.

 

Her shaking hand touched Aura’s shoulder first, and it was so _different_ touching her and knowing she was gone. Part of her wanted to shake her, wake her up as if she was sleeping in on Sunday morning when they were kids or else she’d miss breakfast. Seeing Aurora so still now in stark contrast to a few minutes ago brought Alex some comfort - not much, but some. “You’re at peace now.”

 

Her hand drifted to her face, feeling how lifeless Aura was. Her skin was still warm to the touch, but her complexion was changed. Remarkable how quickly it happened after the Killing Curse had done its job. No breath escaped her parted lips. Her eyes didn’t flutter. Alex traced the scar over Aura’s eyebrow and lost what control she had left.

 

She collapsed down across Aurora’s torso, awkwardly hugging her and burying her face in Aura’s neck, muffling her wails, grief overwhelming her.


	18. Chapter 18

It wasn’t long before Alex was being coaxed from the room. She didn’t want to leave. Leaving made it final, but it was already final. She looked back just as a white sheet was pulled up over Aurora’s face. The healer was talking to her about paperwork that would need to be picked up, but Alex had long tuned her out, walking down the corridors in a daze. She was physically and emotionally exhausted.

 

When she stepped outside, the sun was just beginning to rise, red in its intensity. It was a new day. Muggles were walking about the street, going about their days. Part of Alex didn’t want to face the fact that the world was going to keep turning without her cousin in it. These muggles had no idea of the pain she was in. She sighed to herself and walked around the corner. Plucking her broom out of her bag, she disillusioned herself and took off, flying through the warm morning air.

 

As she flew, she mentally apologized. _I’m sorry I couldn’t protect her, Uncle Jonathan…_ Oh, Uncle Jonathan! She headed towards the graveyard and landed at the foot of her Uncle’s grave. She surveyed the damage on tombstone and sighed, kneeling down in front of it. Her hand traced the crack. “She’s so sorry for this, Uncle Jon,” Alex murmured, and flicked her wand, mending the crack through the stone. “She’s in your hands again. I need you to look after her for me, now.”

 

She stayed at Jonathan’s grave for a short while, knowing that somewhere nearby, Aurora was going to be laid to rest, too.

 

\--------------------

 

Alex sat in the church, her hand wrapped up tightly between Creylen's on his leg. Everyone was dressed in black, proper for mourning, and Alex was confident she was going to be mourning for a very, very long time. She could hear the occasional sniffle from the many people in the chapel. As she had greeted those who had come to pay their respects, she honestly didn't know who half the people were. Some introduced themselves as a former patient, or a friend from way back when. There were others who were still a mystery, like why Kingsley Shacklebolt would be there. Oliver Wood she could sort of understood, and the Weasley clan perhaps, but the former minister of magic gave her pause.

 

While the family pastor went through the service, spoke fondly of Aurora, Alex couldn't take her eyes off the casket at the front. The lid was closed, and part of her was thankful for not having to look at Aura's lifeless body any longer, but she could picture it so clearly. That wasn't how she wanted to remember her cousin, her best friend, her sister.

 

She heard her name and looked up at the pastor, who was inviting her up to ‘say a few words' about her cousin. She composed herself, gave her husband’s hand a squeeze before replacing the Reverend at the front. She looked at all the faces, wizarding and muggle alike. Her nerves caused her to shake from head to toe, or it might just be due to her own grief. "I... Uhm... I wasn't going to say anything at first," she admitted. She almost wished she had wrote down her thoughts on cue cards instead of in her journal. She didn't know why she felt the need to write things down in the days leading up to the funeral, but it helped, somehow. "Because, I know that anything I say will always seem inadequate; it will never be enough. There are no words that can express all that Aura means to me... I still can't truly believe that I am really standing here."

 

Her eyes darted over to the coffin, and she batted away a tear. Her hands gripped the edges of the podium in an attempt to keep it together, for herself and for Aura. "Everyone here knows a different Aura: daughter, wife, mother, niece, cousin, Aunt, godmother, friend, colleague, healer and a general cure-all miracle worker," she gave a brave chuckle at the last one.  "And I thought to myself - if I didn't say something today, was I honoring her the way she should be honored? So, I'm going to share with you the Aura I know; my Squirt.

 

“She’s my cousin, but more than that… she’s my best friend, and every bit as much my sister as the rest of my siblings. She was…. Fierce. Passionate. Caring. Courageous. And she remained that way right up until the end. I count myself lucky to have known her, and to be influenced by her. I was always amazed by the depths of her strength, the way she lived her life; and she lived it like each moment could be her last. Granted, it’s not the most original philosophy, but it meant something to her and she cherished each day.

 

“I’ll tell you this, she _loved_ every second of being a mother.” Alex looked directly at the children sitting in the front row. “To her, nothing was more rewarding than watching her children grow up, and she leaves behind a legacy with you guys.” Alex paused for a second, took a calming breath of air. “She leaves behind a legacy in all of us, really. Every life she’s touched. A part of her will live on in that way, whether it’s because of the advice she’s given, the patients she’s healed, or all the good she has done in the world--like running headlong into a burning train car…” she shook her head slightly, because she was still mad over all of it. Hogwarts was the worst battlefield of them all. “That’s just the kind of person she was. She couldn’t stand by and do nothing while the person next to her was suffering. All she wanted to do with her life was help others in _whatever_ way she could.

 

“I admire her for everything she’s accomplished in her life, for her strong moral compass. I am going to miss her more than words can say.”

 

For as much as Alex wanted to say more, she found her throat beginning to constrict, impeding her ability to speak. On her way back to her seat, she stopped by the casket, giving it a long look. “Squirt…” she whispered to herself, eyes closing as her heart sank just a little further and found new depths of grief.

 

Swallowing thickly, she walked back towards her second row seat on the isle. As she passed, she placed a supportive hand on Spike’s shoulder and gave it a pat before she parked herself behind him. She could feel his anger radiating off of him towards her in waves. She didn’t know what Aura had in store for her family that terrible night, and somehow, being able to be with her cousin in the end when Aura had taken the choice away from Spike made it all her fault.

 

The rift between the two families had widened, and it had been less than a week.


End file.
